Our Life - Our Family

Why in the world did I want to become Catholic?

2009-04-11T11:57:00.007-05:00

It is Easter weekend and there is a lot we are celebrating relating to our faith in the Shank household. First and foremost, we are celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Like most families, we are doing this not only with prayer and reverence, but also with painted eggs and lots of chocolate for the kids.

This year is a bit more special however. We are also celebrating much more including my daughter's baptism. Zoë has waited a long 19 months for her baptism and we owe her not only apologies for this, but also thanks to the Lord for extending his grace onto her thus far in her life.

We also have further celebration in that we have a surprise this year for those who visited. I made the decision to become Catholic! I say this was a surprise because I made the decision early on in the process that I wasn't going to tell either my Mom, my in-laws, or anyone else in my - or my wife's family about this decision.

I decided to keep this to myself for several reasons. Primarily, it was because I wanted this choice to be between God and I and no one else. I wanted this to be a clear decision made upon the discoveries I made about my faith, what I knew to be true about my own experiences, and without influence. I did choose partners in this process from both sides of the conversation, but those were on terms I felt I could control.

Additionally, I elected to keep this to myself because I didn't want to create any assumptions about anyone else's participation in the process. Conversion stories naturally lead themselves to such thoughts as it did with our friends here locally. To that point, we have already heard many surprising comments from friends that we hadn't even expected. With my wife and her family being Catholic one would naturally assume I had been overtaken by the "club." Admittedly my wife does have a lot of influence over my life, but not over my spiritual life. If anything my wife being Catholic has, over the course of our marriage, been more limiting to our spiritual development than beneficial.

Michelle has always had an estranged relationship with the Catholic Church. In her words, "I went to Mass enough when I was in Catholic School I don't need to go anymore." She has for years hated Mass, hated the idea of going to Mass, and is a part of that huge demographic out there that has been burned out on faith disciplines because of her time in Catholic School. Michelle loves God, loves me for my love of God, and has embraced my faith quest as part of our responsibility as parents in raising our children. Michelle also has found her niche in many of the Protestant Churches we have attended for the subtle differences that provide some interest to her. But I would say that overall my wife has, as long as I have known her, been trapped between a rock and a hard place; those positions being a frustration with aspects of Catholicism and not really being able to feel completely comfortable anywhere else.

Of further note, my conversations with Michelle's family about the Catholic Church have always been respectful, yet at the same time, distant. This is because of my long standing and outspoken animosity for the Catholic Church. I had for years believed that in general, most Catholics weren't even real Christians. So to put it simply, it is fair to say that my in-laws gave up years ago on the idea of me becoming Catholic.

Now I am sure there are some people out there wondering why I did this. In fact, as I already indicated, some have already been pressed me on the subject. In respect to them, this choice is something for many in my sphere of influence that is hard to understand. So, why I made this choice is a good question and deserves a good answer. I assure you that my wife is just as dumbfounded in some ways about this as many of you might be. And quite frankly, it is a question that has been on my mind as well. So as a logical person with a restless mind, I am going to put it down on paper as I always do so I can look at it objectively and make sure that this is something I am confident in. So I write this as much for myself as anyone else, but it is my hope that in publishing this on the internet it offers anyone else aid in their personal walk of faith, for whatever direction they are going, and hopefully answer any questions about mine.

So what follows is a discussion I had with myself as to how I discerned Catholicism in my own mind and why I found a home for my heart in the Catholic Church. This journal involves discussions and comments of others, but is not directed at anyone. This is directed at me and me alone, and is a discussion with two halves of one mind – the critic and the analyst. I have put some considerable research into this decision and write this within the context of my own level of faith and Biblical understanding. So I apologize if assumptions are made which a reader finds confusing or I express my own naiveté.

At this point I should also mention a word of thanks to my brother, a Methodist Minister, for his tempered counsel on this experience. His help and focus to a "keeping my eyes wide open" approach to the process has not only been helpful, but has also been critical in my being able to make this decision as a responsible adult. Keith was very supportive. He went out of his way to assure me that the path I was on did not necessarily have to include the Catholic Church, but that he was supportive of it because he found God's hand at work in leading me down this road. Thank you very much Keith.

Hunting Rabbits

So how does an outspoken critic of the Catholic Church even become remotely interested in becoming Catholic? Well, as we in sales like to say, "Just because you get the rabbit out of the hole doesn't mean you will get it in the cage." What does that mean? Well, it means it happened in two parts. The first of which was the need for change. The change in question was our determination to get Zoë baptized. The church we have been attending doesn't believe in child baptism. Furthermore, they were of the mindset that Michelle and I should get baptized as adults. Now I don't want to get wrapped up in anyone else's personal beliefs on the subject, but suffice it to say, neither one of those two options appealed to Michelle and myself. We both felt uniquely connected to our baptisms through our life experiences as children of the Churches we were raised in and were made uncomfortable by the thought of being baptized again. And, as I indicated before, we felt it our responsibility as parents to get Zoë baptized as well. So we began our quest for a solution of how to get Zoë baptized.

What got the rabbit into the cage came down to years of Bible study for me and the subtle invitation from a priest. Michelle and I were referred to a priest I had known for years and forgotten about as one of our possible solutions to our baptism "problem." So at the dutiful persistence of a friend, I called and set up an appointment with Father back in September.

So I with my anti-catholic disposition, and my wife with her frustrated with Mass / troubled Catholic Childhood experience disposition, went in with both barrels loaded to ask this poor man to take pity on us, despite our beliefs, and baptize our child.

And we opened fire too. We held nothing back and for lack of a better term, mugged the poor man in his office. Michelle voiced all of her concerns about Mass and I voiced my general skepticism about a church I really didn't yet understand.

In the end Father just smiled at both of us. He immediately stated without question and sincere grace that they would baptize Zoë. He also helped Michelle find perspective on how she, as someone who may have lost meaning in the Mass for herself, gives to others purely through her participation in the Mass and could look for God's grace in that. He added that the Church is a community of believers that praise the Lord through their support of one another.

Father then turned to me and offered me the invitation to attend, at my leisure, the RCIA program which follows Mass each Sunday simply for the purpose of understanding what I was baptizing my children into. He made sure that I knew that I was under no obligation to join the church, and that no one would pressure me to do so as part of Zoë's baptism.

Frankly, Father's words faded out beyond that point because my mind was stuck on his words to Michelle about Catholicism being about a community of faith. I could see his lips moving but I couldn't hear anything anyone else was saying. Those words just started echoing through my head as if they had some value I couldn't put my finger on.

Finally, after minutes of disassociation, something connected. That something was an idea that had been overwhelming my thoughts for weeks previous which I had been developing in the weekly men's Bible study I was attending. This idea was that the reason why we live this life is to figure out how to embrace and love our fellow man. That our charge is to successfully connect with each other. It’s as if I tripped over the answer to the whole “meaning of life” question. I am after all an existentialist at heart anyway. But specifically, this charge especially involves those of us in the community we can’t stand, don't identify with, and feel held back by in life. So somehow, we fulfill our purpose in life by learning how to incorporate others into it.

So those two ideas fused together in some odd coincidence of fate: the fact that Michelle would be serving others in the community of faith by participating in the Mass in spite of her own needs, and that we should be loving our fellow man as our primary task as a creation of God. And so I turned to Father and said that I would very much like to join this group and see what this is all about.

That is also when I also said the dumbest thing that has ever come out of my mouth. As my wits came around I told him that I felt my faith was strong enough to take anything they threw at me. (As if he was asking me to get a better understanding of Scientology.) Because I also had an ulterior motive; I wanted to find that thing in my wife’s past, and the past of so many other Catholic’s, that created so much ambivalence in their faith. As a father and a husband, I have always considered it my responsibility to provide faith leadership within the home, and the "Catholic Thing" always would get in the way. The ecumenical relationship Michelle and I have had always served us well as a couple, but as our family grew this began to hinder our holistic faith development as a unit.

So I jumped in with both feet and began a process that would change my life. I like to live under the illusion that I am not a simple minded person. That my time on this earth, education, and career success has empowered me with reasonable discernment skills. I also believe that I have been truthful to myself through out this process, and that I have been truthful to those whom I have asked to assist me along the way. What I discovered is what most on a grail quest discovers; that to grasp the most unreachable desires, answer the most unsolvable questions, and overcome the most challenging aspects of our lives; we need only to look within ourselves to reach the destination.

What I discovered in this process is that I had never really looked at Catholicism before. I spent my whole life looking at Catholics to form my opinions of this denomination. What others did, said, or held to be true. Why was I a Methodist? Why were we attending an independent church? The only barometer I ever used was whether I could feel Christ at work in this church? This process was very reliable, but yet simplistic and at times an inadequate diving rod.

It was inadequate because I had never reconciled aspects of faith against my own personal relationship with Christ. Just because God was at work in that church didn't necessarily dictate that God needed me there. God works in different ways with different people, and I have been searching for something for some time without really understanding how to process what I found. Another way of looking at it is that I had always dedicated myself to being such a coach-able follower, so much so that I never really took the time to see where I was going. So I guess if I wanted to be a leader for my family, I was going to have to be a leader for myself first, and leadership takes a little understanding of who you are.

So as I took this helm of leadership I began to appreciate how foolish I had been. I wasn’t foolish for being Protestant, not in the slightest. But I was foolish because I allowed others to discern how I defined myself, not my relationship with God. I had given others that power over who I thought I was, my family, and my future without discerning God's purpose first.

Additionally, another discovery I made was that my thoughts about Catholicism primarily existed out of ignorance. Furthermore, I had let my frustrations about how I saw the faith be fueled by more ignorance; I fed on "self declared recovering Catholics" and fellow Catholic haters to the point that my reality of the Catholic Church really only existed in my own mind.

So as I went through RCIA I began a study of understanding theology. I discerned what I learned against Independent Christian thought, Catholic thought, Methodist thought, Calvinist thought and much more. What I discovered was how similar all Christian denominations are and why it really is dumb to focus on differences.

I also discovered the importance of living what you believe. For years my natural contrarian nature left me uninterested in belonging to any specific group. It is easy to be a floater though, moving from one place to another relying on an independent mindset to live unattached to any specific dogma. After all it's just me, Christ, and my Bible right? Well, no, not if life is about connecting with others its not. Those two ideals quickly became incongruent for me. I also found that it also is much harder to believe in something and to be marked by it so it is undeniable. So I asked myself if I was ever to reach my goal of being a Christian in that way, why should I fear being a part of a church in that way; could those be related?

In the end I found that I liked Catholicism - a lot. I understood it – it has many moving parts and can be confusing. As J.K. Chestern says, "its bigger on the inside than it is on the outside." It also offers a lot of tools for faith discipline and I can always use more of that. Catholicism is, in many ways, the answer to some of my prayers for my life and the life of my family. I would admit that other denominations could be too, but like a lot of the bigger picture benefits Michelle and I found with moving to Shawnee and buying the house we did, Catholicism offers some profound depth in ways I had never really imagined. I had always seen it as simple and shallow, but in fact it is just the opposite. It is a robust practice of Christianity that challenges you daily. It is not by any means perfect, but then neither am I. At my age there is much in life that I can say I have seen before and know I will see again. That is how I see the Catholic Church: Yeah we have seen that before. It will probably happen again. Let's just put on our shoes on and get back to work.

Another way of looking at why I became so intrigued by Catholicism is in some of what I took from St. Ignatius. Ignatius was one of the first apologists of the Universal Church and a founding father of Catholic thought as it is become known today. In many ways I saw through my Protestant experiences that accepting Christ as the son of God was the end result of your faith quest. "Jesus is the answer!" He was that point that you could keep coming back to on the road of life as a partner in all you do. What I have found in Catholicism with the help of our friend St. Ignatius is that recognizing Christ as the Son of God is just the beginning, and it is the basis for understanding the purpose for which God made you a part of His creation. I would encourage anyone to read the Catechism of the Catholic Church. As it relates to this thought though, I would encourage you to read the section entitled "The Vocation of Man."

This has been a fascinating ride that may not be understood by all. What follows are my reflections and discoveries surrounding various aspects of faith. It is my hope that these add value in any way they can.

Reconciling my faith to Catholic Doctrine

To me, this was the most amazing part of whole experience, and what turned out to be the easiest. See, as I said, I had always looked at Catholicism by looking at Catholics. Seems logical right? Well, not when you also realize there are a lot of Catholics that don't know what it means to be Catholic. This is not intended to be a judgment on anyone. The fact of the matter is you could say the same thing about any number of Christian faiths. But when I looked at what I call pure Catholicism, the catholic faith as it was introduced to me through the words of Michael Himes' book "The Mystery of Faith, an introduction to Catholicism," I found something that was profoundly beautiful to behold. Though not a complete illustration of Catholic thought, it opened my eyes to a greater understanding of the basis for Catholic ideology that I found truly fascinating.

You can ask my wife about the effect it had on me. I wasn't sleeping at night because I kept waking up thinking about what it had stirred in my mind. I inhaled that book and what turned into a steady diet of books to follow. Scott Hahn's book was another big mind bender that completely knocked me off my horse. I was constantly checking and sourcing my Bible on what I read. I was dumbfounded at the simple and amazing insights I had found that put so much in perspective for me.

I was raised in the Methodist Church. My parents were really great about exposing my brother and I to a life of faith at an early age. My parents loved my brother and I very much all of our lives and I will forever be indebted to the upbringing they gave me. Both my Mother and Father instilled in me core values that would help me throughout my life including a relationship with God and the Church. They also walked the walk at home themselves. I can remember many times our family praying together and building on our faith relationship in and out of the home. Both my brother and I were in youth group from kindergarten to graduation from high school. We sang in the church youth and adult choirs, and did confirmation as scheduled. Did I mention that my brother is finishing his Masters in Theology? I have also even been cursed with the fact that nearly all of my close friends from High School and College turned out to be Ministers some where in the world. So suffice it to say I have had considerable exposure to faith development, but yet I still felt incomplete.

Furthermore, as an adult I took an intensive adult Bible Study program for 32 weeks called Disciple in which I highly re-familiarized myself again with the Bible. I have, in one form or another, been involved in weekly Bible study somewhere for the past 10 years. I am the table leader in a Men's group that meets each Tuesday morning at a church near my house to study and learn about faith, and I read for fun books on faith that I find from many sources. As I said, I have been searching and searching. So suffice it to say, I always felt very comfortable in my faith and loved the Bible because of my own personal moment of surrender and salvation in Christ. What has always been an issue though for me – as with many Protestants however – are what are called aspects of faith. Points of doctrine as some might call them have sometimes been put aside as a focus of prayer and continuing discernment.

Catholicism, as it turned out, cleared a lot of things up for me that never seemed to be truly clear. See, I am a relational person by nature. My thinking processes involve transitive logic on many levels. I understand a = c very easily because I know that a =b & b = c. I need to understand how things fit together. Many aspects of my Protestant faith however, always seemed to have individual logic systems and be independent of one another (at least to me). I was always told that some things were just a matter of faith – you can choose to believe, or not. So I took some things on faith because I was a follower of Christ.

Catholicism, on the other hand, is highly interrelated. A particular practice, discipline, or meaning may be very difficult to fathom without factoring in other practices, disciplines, or meanings.

For example, transubstantiation makes perfect sense to me now. Why, well because of the new covenant with Christ; the Trinity defined as Lover, Beloved, and the Love between them; what it means to be a part of the body of Christ, the concept of sin and God's promise to us; how we continue to experience God's grace through the Holy Spirit; baptism; the Incarnation; victory over death; the communion of saints; the role of the church, and understanding our role as part of God's creation. Clear as mud right! Well anyway, ask me about it later. Suffice it to say, it makes sense to my complicated brain.

Justification

I just can't escape this part of the Catholic faith. I realize this thought will cause the greatest amount of controversy within my family and friends, but again – I just cannot escape it. Justification was what my mind found in those moments in which my thoughts connected with Father's comments to Michelle in our early meeting about Zoë's baptism.

It should also be known that no one, and I mean no one, in the Catholic Church and my RCIA experience ever brought this up. Not once. Not even a priest. These are feelings I came to of my own mind and in my own time through my reading of the Bible and the repeated messages that I have gotten from the Protestant Pastors I have regular access too. I believe that we are justified before God not only through our belief in Christ, but through our actions (works) on this earth. (You may begin the egg throwing now.)

I say this with the hope that it is understood that I see these two concepts to be one and the same. There are many who would successfully argue that when Christ said in the Gospels the most important part of the law was to love God and love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:28-34), He was talking about a single concept. Why? Because you love God by loving your neighbor, they are inseparable. The same can be said for justification. We reveal our faith in God through our actions (works). These concepts are two halves of the same whole. To think that they can exist independently of one another is foolishness.

Getting back to transitive logic; Adam & Eve fall into this thought as well. In the second chapter of Genesis God created Adam to have responsibility for His creation. The last time I checked, God is timeless. God created you and me and the world around us. I don't think He was hiring a guy for a 30 minute job. Adam wasn't just a simple gardener hired to maintain the grounds of the Garden of Eden. In breathing life into Adam God made us our brother's keeper. He made us responsible for one another. I just can't escape the thought that from Eden to Calvary this is the point that the Lord has been trying to drive into our thick skulls the whole time. This is what life is all about – the other guy (or girl). Live for others and enjoy it.

Now does the Catholic Church own the patent on Justification just because they put deeds on their business card? Let's not be that ridiculous, please. There is an army of Catholics out there that forgot years ago why they show up and do stuff. For some sadly, there is no spiritual connection at all; and it was some of these humbled masses that were the folks I so arrogantly judged Catholicism by. So know that being Catholic only guarantees you that at some point in your life you'll likely watch a Notre Dame Football game, and at the level they are playing at now even that is suspect. See, it's funny that the Catholic Church falls under the umbrella of a corporate faith, because that is where I see Catholic guilt coming from. Catholic guilt is the faith based version of "That's the way we have always done it?"

But let's try and understand what makes this work for me; the Catholic Church has earned my respect because they do keep works on their business card. It's an honesty approach that I like and I believe Christ appreciates because your actions are a reflection of your love for Him. Rick Warren of "Purpose Driven Life" fame created a widely used illustration for the spiritual growth path of an individual within a church and likened it to that of a baseball diamond:

First base = Membership in the church
Second base = Spiritual maturity
Third base = Ministry
Home Plate = Mission Work

This process is with the idea that those returning to home plate kick start the next base runners.

Now I am not saying that Rick is wrong in his approach. In fact to the contrary, I am sure that many Catholic parishes' use a version of this same model. But what I do think is an important difference is that the Catholic Church tells you up front that they expect you to score, that they expect you to show up daily, and the people counting on you are right here for you to meet. So much so that they won't just give the bat to the next person in line before they are sure that person understands what is happening in the game. When you step into the batters box as a Catholic you have the knowledge right from the first pitch that you need to be thinking triple or home run. (Again, some get more focused on the game than the meaning of the game, but they are playing.)

Now I used to be offended that I couldn't receive communion in a Catholic Church, and then I understood why. I found out that in the first century churches that sometimes it took years before people could receive communion. This is because you needed time to prepare yourself for what it means to be a Christian. In the end, is that not what's best for each of us anyway? I mean, how many people in any church really understand what it is that they represent? And of those that do, how many of us make that truly a part of who we are?

To emphasize this point further, I have seen a lot of protestant churches filled with people who feel "stuck on second base" in Rick's example, or who get to second and then head off into center field because they have this need to accumulate so much spiritual maturity that they never go anywhere. People I know talk about this quite a bit actually. In some ways they become like college students that never graduate. They have tons of opinions about how the world should work, but when it comes to doing something about it they go off and register for the next class. I happen to know this is a real problem for some churches, even large churches with lots of money (and yes I am sure – even some Catholic Churches).

This issue is in part why I have heard such talk about actions from so many sources. Understand that what I say next is with the utmost respect and sensitivity to anyone's situation: We need to do more than continually express thanks for our moment of surrender to Christ and the Grace we received. We need reflect that grace by fulfilling God's promise in others. We need to pay forward our forgiveness.

All in all, as I have told my brother, I believe it is all just really semantics that separate Catholics and Protestants on the issue of justification. I mean let's face it; both Church forms are trying to assist people in getting to the same point. It's all about how the language plays out in your mind.

To illustrate the complexity of the semantics issue, and to illustrate how I see these two concepts intertwined, I offer a quote from Paul in his letter to the Ephesians (Eph 2:8-10):

8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

And this from James 2:26:

26As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

For me, I have found comfort in the Catholic Church speaking more openly and determinately about what I have come to discern as important through scripture. I find it important to not let the argument in Ephesians verses 8 & 9 overshadow the bigger picture found in verse 10. We were created to have responsibility over God's creation, and we fulfill our commitment to His covenant relationship by our faith which we demonstrate through our actions that God has prepared for us in this life.

The Liturgical Calendar

This was the meat and potatoes of my conversion. I had, for years, been praying for the tools to center Christ in my family. We have been pretty successful thus far with Jackson and faith but we had kind of hit a plateau. In comes Advent! And what timing its meaning was for our family. We began preparing for Christ in many ways. This experience for us also held true the axiom that a good advent leads to a less stressful Christmas. Jackson loved learning the names of the candles and always wanted to be the one who lit them. Zoë just thought it was cool to have burning candles during dinner. We kept the advent wreath as our table center piece and said the prayers each week we got from the church as part of our Sunday dinner ritual. We talked with Jackson regularly about why we celebrate advent and that we should be humble in our expectations for Christmas.

Lent has also been big at the house. All 3 aspects of it: Praying, fasting, and alms giving. Daddy fasted on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. Daddy gave up alcohol for Lent - hello, Mommy gave up pop, and Jackson gave up Mario Kart two days a week. We all gave up meat on Fridays. It became a family thing. We all had our "sacrifice for Jesus." Truth be told, Jackson needed some reinforcement on the whole Mario Kart thing. He struggled with separating it from punishment, but he was consoled with the fact Daddy couldn't drink beer so it must be okay.

Michelle and I also committed to volunteer for Harvesters, and we embraced the no meat on Fridays by joining in on the fish fries at the Church for fun. This was arguably my wife's favorite part of me becoming Catholic – the Fish Fry. Never mind being equally yoked in our spiritual development – she got her Fish Frys back. Hey, priorities right. But in all seriousness, we all loved them - especially Jackson. Jackson would tell us each morning how many days it was until the next Fish Fry and blew the mind each week of the Knight that tried to give him cheese pizza. No…he wants fish – two pieces please…no really he will eat them. Yes, he's only six….I promise, he will eat them. No, it's not really another one for Dad…..he helps me finish mine.

My brother shared in this joy of us embracing the liturgical calendar again also. He explained to me how he has born witness to any number of people who have left Churches that used the liturgical calendar and who came back because they missed the value the calendar provides. It certainly was like being a part of family again you hadn't seen for some time.

The fascinating aspect of the Calendar for me has been learning about its history. As it turns out the Catholic Church has quite an interest in the Liturgical Calendar. The Pope was given the responsibility of Calendar management by the Roman Empire to develop and implement it. The Church has fulfilled that role in one fashion or another up to the current day.

Now we haven't embraced the Calendar as much as we could; in Catholicism there is a Saint feast if not daily, then nearly weekly. But we do appreciate the value of many of them more than we would have in the past. St. Patrick's Day this year was definitely more educating than intoxicating. What these days offer us though is a way to bring Christ into the habits and customs we form as a family; "Opportunities to coach," as we called them in our Love and Logic class.

The Beauty of the Mass

There was a time in my life that the Mass held about as much interest for me as a Chinese Domino Tournament. To add insult to injury, a Mass was nearly guaranteed to put my wife in a bad mood for the next several hours. For those of you who have met my wife, I am sure you realize how much of a disincentive that would be to ever go to one. But I am sure you also realize by now in this reading that I drank all the kool-aid that I could at those fish frys and that I have really come to appreciate the beauty of the Mass.

For years I had been under a severe misconception that my father in law cleared up for me over the last 4th of July. He explained to me that a Mass is not a worship service. The Mass is a discipline of faith. This in some ways made me very thankful because it helped me realize that Catholics weren't trying to bore the Lord to death in their Worship services. But hey, there is no better way to say thanks for salvation than letting someone you love get a little shut eye.

What I have discovered is that the Mass is a daily discipline that is usually practiced weekly, and mandated only twice a year. All opinions aside on how often you should attend Mass, looking at it as a daily discipline gave me it its greatest meaning. The Mass is an opportunity for prayer, repentance, serving others, connecting to Christ through the Liturgy of the Word, and connecting to the body of Christ through the Sacrament of the Eucharist. All good activities in the daily life of a Christian wouldn't you say? But the point of the Mass is the Eucharist - A Manna meal with your Lord and Savior. Gives the term "Breakfast of Champions" a whole new light doesn't it?

What I learned about worship in the Catholic Church is that you worship God by serving others. Which I think is kind of cool, and helped me understand why my wife always loved God but hated the Mass. See, this made no sense to me for the longest time and I could never understand how those feelings could co-exist in her heart. She would always say, "I would rather be serving meals at a soup kitchen somewhere than sitting in a church. What good does that do?" Little did I know, and what she could never figure out how to say, is that she loved God and loved honoring Him in ways He wanted - not in ways she wanted. What's funny is that for years I have been trying to show my wife the joy of praising God, and little did I know I was the one who didn't get it.

Now I am not saying that the Lord doesn't love a good Hymn sung with the heart of someone who has been saved. Furthermore, there are some gospel singers south of the Mason Dixon line that would make the Pope cry in thanksgiving for God's Grace. More to the point, I am quite confident that before the Gospel is read in Mass replacing the usual Gloria with Michael W. Smith's version of "Awesome God" or Amy Grant's "Thy Word" would be a real treat for the Lord. And I would have felt a little less apprehensive in line for the Sacrament of Reconciliation listening to Mercyme's "I Can Only Imagine." But nonetheless these are just little details of a more significant picture that the Mass and Worship represent. The Mass is about our connection to God, not God's connection to us. Worship is about fulfilling God's promise to us, not finding a way to make God appealing to us.

In the book, "Wild Goose Chase," Mark Batterson writes about the concept of "Inverted Christianity." To paraphrase: Inverted Christianity is the WIFM Concept (What's in it for me) taken into our faith. Mark, who is the pastor of an independent church in Washington D.C., is more of a Catholic that he realizes or would likely admit too. Mark has a real concern that too many church goers evaluate their church experience based on what they get out of it, how well they like the minister, and how good the music is. Church should be about God – period.

Now don't get me wrong, Mass is not a panacea for inverted Christianity. Many Catholics choose their parish based on their taste in architecture, how they like the priest, and how good the school's basketball team is. But what the Mass does offer that I find so appealing is nothing but the sacraments. It's brutally honest in that respect. You go there to connect with Christ as a community through the Sacraments. Again, it's only about the Eucharist. Its simplicity is its greatest message and its greatest strength.

I found out in my studies that originally Mass was intended to be in standing room only fashion. You weren't meant to sit down. The body language of sitting at the time was considered pious and disrespectful to others in the community and to God. Pews were introduced as part of a trend started by protestant churches in early American history as both sermons and homilies got longer. This explains the whole concept of the kneeling rail and why they are so awkward. What would we as Americans think of Church today if we weren't allowed to sit down? Think about that the next time you attend on Sunday.

So what about the joy of worship and praise? Well I want to keep it up. Furthermore, I recognize and appreciate the value worship services bring to the evangelistic moment. But for me, my relationship with God has become more about how I deal with my fellow man, its about living the sermon as much as debating it, and its about living hymns as prayer and feelingthem in your heart while doing work at that soup kitchen! I've got my IPOD rolling and we will be turning on some Third Day to get motivated.

What do I see when I sit in Mass? I have to admit it reminds me a lot of a Kings court. This appearance could be due to the rotunda shape of the parish we attend but I give it over a lot to form as well. The King's people come in community to His court, are led by the priest as Herald, give praise to the King, celebrate His entrance onto the thrown, settle the business of the day, and renew their faith in the leadership and grace He provides. Kind of nerdy I know, but not that far off from where the old Roman Rite was sourced from.

Bible Passages for thought

(Mathew 23:1-2)
Jesus spoke to the crowds and to his disciples, saying, "The scribes and the Pharisees have taken their seat on the chair of Moses. Therefore, do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their example. For they preach but they do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people's shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen. They widen their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. They love places of honor at banquets, seats of honor in synagogues, greetings in marketplaces, and the salutation 'Rabbi.' As for you, do not be called 'Rabbi.' You have but one teacher, and you are all brothers. Call no one on earth your father; you have but one Father in heaven. Do not be called 'Master'; you have but one master, the Christ. The greatest among you must be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted."

(Philippians 2: 1-11)
1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6Who, being in very nature[a] God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7but made himself nothing, taking the very nature[b] of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! 9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

(Mark 12:28-34)
One of the scribes came to Jesus and asked him,"Which is the first of all the commandments?"Jesus replied, "The first is this:Hear, O Israel!The Lord our God is Lord alone!You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this:You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these."The scribe said to him, "Well said, teacher.You are right in saying,He is One and there is no other than he.And to love him with all your heart,with all your understanding, with all your strength,and to love your neighbor as yourself is worth more than all burnt offerings and sacrifices."And when Jesus saw that he answered with understanding,he said to him,"You are not far from the Kingdom of God."And no one dared to ask him any more questions.

(James 2: 14-25)
14What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? 15Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? 17In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
18But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.
19You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.
20You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless[d]? 21Was not our ancestor Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? 22You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. 23And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,"[e] and he was called God's friend. 24You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.
25In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? 26As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

(Mathew 5:1-11)
1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying: 3"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 7Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 8Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 9Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. 10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

(John 3:16-21)
16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[f] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.[g] 19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."[h]

(John 12:20-26)
20Now there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the Feast. 21They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, with a request. "Sir," they said, "we would like to see Jesus." 22Philip went to tell Andrew; Andrew and Philip in turn told Jesus.
23Jesus replied, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. 24I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. 25The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.

2000 years of Church History

My father-in-law said something to me once that has turned out to be highly prophetic, "The worst thing about the Catholic Church is its marketing department." Wow, how true that has turned out to be. What's funny is that every time we have embarked on an adventure with the church, whether it was for our wedding, Jackson's baptism, or this experience; I went in thinking it would be a fight and it has always turned out to be a pleasure. So I have added another ounce of wisdom to my father in-law's list of profound statements. Mine is that "the only difference between Catholicism and Protestantism is 2000 years of Church history." This sounds simple and nonsensical at first read, but trust me when I say it became the truism I would return to over and over again as I pulled back the onion of the Catholic church.

My brother helped me a lot with this as well. He outlined for me those 2000 years one Saturday morning as we discussed the Desert Fathers, the Roman Empire, Calvin, Luther, Wesley, and more. He explained to me how Church's of today founded their basic doctrinal differences and what made them unique. He explained why the church we had been currently attending thought the way they did about baptism and why they didn't use the liturgical calendar. All really great things and Keith really help put things in perspective.

But getting back to my new corollary, as someone who has spent time in Catholic Churches, Luther originated Churches, and Calvin originated Churches I have really come to appreciate some of those fundamental differences and logic. From just a practical perspective, it wouldn't matter if you were talking about Churches, baseball teams, or hamburger stands; much of what defines the differences between any two similar organizations, when comparing one that has maintained its original form and ones that have changed regularly over a similar time period, is the approach each took to dealing with the challenges it faced over that time.

Now I could probably add 30 pages to this journal in just describing the bad decisions the Catholic Church has made since Christ put his hand on Peter's shoulder and asked him to take care of his bride. So instead, let's just concede up front that my father in law has it right and the marketing director should have been fired and replaced some time around the reign of Titus. To emphasize that I do take this point seriously however; lets not forget that the Catholic Church at one point wanted my family extinguished from the face of the earth and tried very hard to make that so. For the History buffs in the audience, feel free to read up on the protestant heretical trials in Europe of the late 1600's (for my family specifically: Eggiwil, Switzerland in 1671) and the subsequent massacres in southern Germany that began 2 decades later in the refuge camps. When you live through such things you tend to write them down and pass them on.

So let's just also say that another thing the Catholic Church is great at is shooting itself in the foot. But when it's not demonstrating it’s expertise in marksmanship it has held true over time to some pretty sound principals and ideas. Such things like putting Christ at the center of life, making faith a daily decision, caring for the poor, building a strong family, being responsible to your community, educating children, peace, and caring for life everywhere.

Admittedly, some of things that really impressed me most in the RCIA process was how easily the Church admits to its failings and its faults. It knows it's been stupid in the past. It knows it has affected more harm than good at certain times in history. But it doesn't let these things change its core values or its sense of mission. It just puts its head down, picks up its cross, and goes back to work. So I was compelled to remember that Christ chose Peter, a flawed man who denied Him 3 times, and who then re-commissioned Peter 3 times. I have come to see a Catholic Church which realizes that falling down is not a reason to quit.

Now I will also tread lightly here and with respect, because I embrace and value the Protestant upbringing I had and value those Church relationships that have shouldered me in my faith walk. They all continue to have my respect, prayer, and in some cases even involvement. What I began to see in spending more time in a Catholic parish however is subtle differences that relate a lot to consistency versus marketing appeal. Not all of these things were bad in my eyes and not all of these were good. In fact I, and another former devout Protestant that was in my RCIA class, both liked to point out that Protestantism and Catholicism could benefit a lot from one another if they just tried working together.

But throughout the process, I began to wonder what some Churches would be like if they didn’t continue to splinter? I mean you want to talk about inverted Christianity; you have to accept that the ultimate act of WIFM is church splintering. For instance, you have the Independent Church movement. There are actually Christians out there that have become so unimpressed with one another they don’t want to have any affiliation with anybody. Most of these have come out of the Baptist faith, who in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s jumped backed and forth between affiliations so often you needed a dance card to remember who to make your check out to each Sunday. My roommate in college was tied up in a lot of that and I can’t tell you the number of times he would tell me things that would get us both laughing for hours.

You also have right now the growth of Home Churches – that's right, you have people who have given up on even wanting to be a part any congregation and just get together with small groups each Sunday to have Church with the "real" believers in their network. This is part of the growing Calvinist movement in the U.S. right now you can read about in the popular press. This movement is based on the idea of mimicking the 1st century churches after Christ's death and the idea of predestination. This is all fine and good I guess. However for me God was the one who told Noah to build the Ark, Noah didn't do it on his own because of his own sense of sin in the world.

I also forget the numbers of new churches that my brother told me are created daily but it's staggering. Now part of that is obviously due to the IRS and the tax code. But there is actually a joke that many protestant ministers tell that says if you find the perfect church don’t join it – because adding you into the mix will ruin it. Now its funny, and I get their point. But if you think about, it's kind of sad. I actually know of situations where protestant churches have turned into bad marriages and it's like they get divorced. They dissolve their charter, or a segment of the congregation establishes a rival church down the road so they don’t have to deal with folks they don’t get along with any more. I mean come on. Why are you a Christian? Why?

Now I should be fair about this and address a couple of things. First of all, yes, Catholics jump parishes too, but not with the level of animosity I was speaking of. Also, parishioners can get stupid crazy sometimes over there little piece of the world, but in the end it’s the Church in Rome and its infrastructure that holds the final say on all matters. Finally, the Mass itself is the same everywhere in the world. Yes, the world, which I find kind of neat.

Furthermore, out of fairness to my Brother, the majority of the situations I was previously referring to come out of the Calvinist vein of the Church Family tree. But in that same fairness, I have personally bore witness to a lot of the same behavior of many Churches including those of Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, and Catholic denominations.

In the end, I surprisingly found some real value in the consistency of the Catholic Church. I found value in the fact that I was coming to be in communion with God and not because the minister was a good speaker. It's always a plus when they are, but it would no longer be a determining factor. I found value in the daily discipline of Mass and really like it. I found value in the core values of the Church and how those could be blended into my family and my own life. I found value in the community aspects of the Church. Finally, I found value in the way the Church has humbled itself to me and my family, as well as how it is trying to move forward from the mistakes of the past.

I would also offer Christ's Parable of the Lost Sheep as a measure of guidance on these issues as found in Luke 15: 1-7:

1Now the tax collectors and "sinners" were all gathering around to hear him. 2But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, "This man welcomes sinners and eats with them."
3Then Jesus told them this parable: 4"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' 7I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

The Impact of 2000 years on Church Practices and Doctrine.

As I indicated previously, so much can be explained about the Catholic Church because of its longevity and how certain needs at certain times that were, or were not, incorporated into the long term dogma of the Church. What really brought this to light for me was imagining what the Church we had been attending would look like in 2000 years, and how different that image would be from the Catholic Church. The thought also stemmed from a recurring question I had been having at that Church which was, "What would the world be like if we were all like this? What if everyone believed in Jesus Christ?"

We had been attending an independent church which took its roots out of the Baptist faith. I have learned from my brother that such church's take there roost out of the Calvinist movement and have a focus on worship services as they would be in the first century churches. Now I am sure many who have attended Westside and seen the rock band and the coffee shop would be surprised to hear that called first century, but that description is related more to their lack of interest in the Liturgical Calendar, what is called a "seeker friendly" approach and a high priority on adult baptism.

But it was that Calvinist nature that got me thinking. How would a, or even could a, first century congregation grow and evolve – given that they still stayed together – look like today? Now granted they wouldn't have the Liturgical Calendar, but in order to stay first century and seeker friendly they would have to evolve. Obviously the modern music and latte's are there to make people feel comfortable and relate to the masses, but they would still have to maintain a value system that defined who they are – some kind of dogmatic foundation. Especially, if like most of them, they continue to grow so substantially. So let's just say that instead of splintering over and over again, they looked at something along the lines of a consistent dogmatic foundation that would allow many of these churches to act in concert and benefit from each other. Now I want to get crazy here, but doesn’t that just look a little like a modern day Council of Nicaea?

Now as this new collective faith evolved it might face big challenges throughout its existence both from the inside and from without. It might even oversee periods in its history where it enjoyed widespread prosperity and social oversight, paralleled by periods in history of retraction and social contempt. But it would be my hope that no matter what challenges it faced it stayed true to God and the message of Jesus Christ. Then I thought, you know, it would probably look a lot like today's Catholic Church.

It was at this point then that I decided to really understand the aspects of the Catholic Faith and how I would discern those things relevant to my own relationship with Jesus Christ. What follows are what I thought to be thoughts of relevance.

Saints. Obviously not the football team. Prior to my interest in Catholicism, I would have ranked them way below that Chinese Domino Tournament in areas of interest. I have had people outside the Church ask me several times what Saint I pray too? See if I’m Catholic, I guess I must pray to Saints, name my kids after them, or must keep one as a pet. I honestly don’t believe I remember the RCIA session where they offered up Saints as an alternative to Christ?

But I will say, is that in any organization that has existed for 2000 years you will likely have had some people in its history of note that stood out for their accomplishments. Call them, oh I don’t know, employees of the month if you don’t like the word Saints. Furthermore, in an organization focused on doing the work of God on earth one might even suspect these people have a connection to God worth remembering.

Now there is also something called an intercession in the Church, in which you ask for a saint to intercede on your behalf. Of course some have told me these are prayers of a different name. Well no, but think what you like. You also have people around the world who honor the burial sights of Saints as Holy places and take great pride in the Saint that brought God’s glory to where they live. Everyone will come to their own opinions on these things and frankly I found the subject without influence in my decision making process.

What I did find interesting was the parallel a Catholic’s relationship to a Saint is with the relationship I have with my father. No, Dad isn’t a Saint, nor would he ever admit to be one. But he is a hero and a friend to me. He always did what was right for my brother and I and he looked out for us every day of our lives. Dad died 1 year before my son was born. I have told many close to me that I believe Dad felt it was time to go so that when he got to heaven he could help pick out the two most wonderful children the Lord had in the lot.

Now I still believe that, although now I believe it's because he wanted to make sure we would get ones that would pay us back for all the crap he took from me. Regardless, I still talk to my Dad to this day. I ask him for help. I visit his grave. I show him what I am proud of and thank him for his influence to my life. I see his spirit even now affecting my involvement with the world I inhabit. I feel his imprint on this life overall and recognize his value when I see that happen. I would feel lost if I never had the benefit of his life on mine. My father is my Saint, and I would deny no man or woman a similar relationship with theirs.

Surrender. This was probably the biggest obstacle in becoming Catholic for me. It is arguably what defines a Protestant in their faith. This was my rationale for why Catholics were not real Christians. Surrender was what tied for me Protestantism's position on justification as Paul articulates it in Romans 3:21-26.

Why is this so important? The act of Surrendering to God is the moment in which you accept Christ as your Lord and Savior. Some Church's call this experience being "born again" and others call it being "saved." This is a very powerful and compelling moment in someone's faith experience. The best way I can describe this for someone who has never experienced it before is that you actually feel such pain in your heart, body, and mind that it is as if you have traveled through space and time to Calvary and become the criminal hanging on the cross next to Jesus. You become completely convicted of your sins and take ownership of them; you plead Christ's innocence as your only available response, and you beg Him to remember you in heaven. One feels so touched by the grace of God that they feel freed of their sins and pledged into living for God. You carry this experience with you and share it with others in what is called "witnessing."

A simplistic example of witnessing: Many know I had a bad mountain biking accident last year and I will share with anyone the need for wearing a helmet when you ride because mine saved my life.

Needless to say this experience changes your life. It's why you see so many hand waving Protestants in highly emotional church services because they are re-experiencing that moment. It's why some Protestants bring there Bible's to church with them, because they are excited to be there. It's why Protestants look at Catholics and think, "Why don't they get excited about going to Church. I mean come on; let's raise the roof in this place." It's why people change their life direction, careers, and social dynamic. I mean lets face it; if you have been hit by lightning, there is life before that day and life after that day for the rest of your life.

So how did I come to terms with that? Well, a lot of it came down to understanding what was happening in the Mass. Part of it was sharing experiences with those in my RCIA class. Part of it was observing and talking with Catholics who had actually experienced surrender themselves and understanding how they processed that experience as Catholics. Finally, part of it was how I felt I was being affected by my own surrender and how I saw it affecting people I know in protestant congregations.

I would first like to say how comforting it was to find out that Catholics experienced surrender. Now how Catholic's processes surrender is directly tied to the consistent presence of the Church in their lives. For a protestant, or an "un-churched" person, this is a very individual experience. You have a sense of what 40 days in the desert is like because you feel as though you went through that on the way to being broken.

But most Catholics grow up in the church and the presence of God surrounds them their whole lives. That presence is highly strengthened and reinforced through the cultural continuity of Catholicism over 2000 years, the family aspects of the Liturgical Calendar, and the corporate aspects of Catholicism as a faith. For a Catholic it's not so much about discovering that God is real to them, it's more about discovering how real their faith & lifestyle are for them. What I discovered is that this is just as real as any protestant experience, the difference is that it happens within the context of the Church that has existed since Peter told Christ yes 3 times.

Now again, I will tread lightly here. But another factor that helped my overcoming this obstacle was my concern that my own surrender, as that of some people I know well, has become too much of a crutch and a drug. There is a euphoria associated with surrender that is overwhelming, and by making it apart of you one can turn it into a narcotic. You want to live in that moment forever, and witnessing positions you with some pretty heartfelt attention. Adults can become like children in a classroom who after discovering the praise of answering a question correctly, want to answer all the questions after that. I actually know a man who left my men's group because he no longer had the most dynamic conversion story. Someone else came in who trumped his ace and he left because the shift in attention was too disappointing for him. I have seen other situations where people didn't feel respected for all they had been through, I have seen others that cling to folks because they become addicted to the tragedy stories, and I have seen others who scorecard people based on how real of an experience they had.

Without totally throwing the baby out with the bathwater here, let me first say that there are many "healthy" people in protestant churches that handle these things very well and I in no way am passing judgment on their experience at all. These people turn into very constructive members of the church and go on to serve God in valued roles in there respected churches. In fact, I have had a surrender experience which I hold near and dear to my heart. But I do think that such behavior is at the root of people wandering off into center field and never reaching third base. I think it is also at the root of why many focus so highly on who the pastor is. I also believe these feelings lie at the core of why church's splinter.

So in the end for me, I wanted to get off second base myself. I am well liked by many in my men's group and have been considered a valued part of any Bible study group I have ever participated in for my insight and passion for the Bible. But I want to do something (my wife is rubbing off on me). So seeing the temptation that exists for vanity in others and the desire to be in an environment that favors service as worship attracted me to the the Catholic Church.

The Pope. Who? Honestly, not someone you think a lot about in this process, strange as they may sound. I can say up front that I am more at ease about the Pope than I am about being a Notre Dame Football fan if that matters. The Pope at least tries to earn my respect.

Now I have been to the Vatican, and loved that experience. Michelle and I went there as part of a tour of Italy for our honeymoon. It was a tremendous experience for me. Our trip came just a few months after my father past away. It was an overwhelming feeling to stand in the middle of St. Peter's and appreciate the unmistakable message of the artwork. Victory over death was what it said to me, and thoughts of my father rushed over me. I went to one of the alcove Chapels to kneel, pray, cry. At the top of the Cathedral we met a woman from Sao Paulo, Brazil who had saved her whole life for her trip there. She had us take her picture in front of various things. What I remember most of this woman was how she appeared to now feel complete having come to Rome. She repeatedly cried with joy and kissed various parts of the building. My experience at the Vatican was really the first time my thoughts on Catholicism began to open up. Between my own emotions and that of the Brazilian woman, I could at least respect the tremendous gifts the Catholic Church could offer to people's lives.

I had someone asked me if I was comfortable being associated with a church that has someone at its head who claims his only job is to be a conduit for God. I really wasn't sure if he was asking about the Pope or Billy Graham. I say that with humor and respect both men, but it's important to understand the Pope is tasked with being the caretaker of the Church. The Pope isn't supposed to be its charismatic leader. Despite some Pope's that have been criticized as self-agenda driven, the role of the Pope is very selfless in nature. The popular press likes to affiliate the Pope with other World leaders, and I really haven't seen that as being as true to form. Popes have been political leaders in the past. At times in world history they were one and the same, however like the Church of today, much of that has changed for the good.

Given all that has happened over the Church's history, how can the Papacy still claim to be an ordination of God? Good question and one I asked myself many times. Well, one thing you notice almost right away in a transition to Catholicism from an active Protestant background is the tremendous influence of the Old Testament. Interrelated doesn't quite cover it when you realize how strong of a patchwork quilt the Catholic Church has made in interlinking the Old and New Testaments. Personally, I have found this very fascinating as a Bible reader, and also extremely relevant to any trust in the Pope as a figure head of the Church. Throughout the Old Testament God dealt with human intermediaries. Arguably many of these were very imperfect men whose faults provided as much leadership as their skills did. When the Lord sent His son to earth to form a New Covenant relationship many believed this all changed. Many Protestant denominations see Peter as being a universal figure in nature who is the "Godfather," if you will, of all Church leadership as it would exist today. The fact is that Protestantism could not legitimately exist if that was not their position. That is not good or bad, it just is. Their situation is completely illogical otherwise.

The Catholic Church's position, as I have come to understand it, ties directly to Jesus' talk to Peter and the Commission he received. Peter is the ordination of Christ's Church on earth which began an unbroken line since the time of Christ. Jesus asked Peter to look after His Church on earth and the role of the Pope is to insure the Church fulfills its entrusted mission.

Personally, I don't care if the line ever broke; and the God I read about in the Old Testament tells me He will color outside the lines whenever He wants. I think this is especially true if the line disappoints Him and doesn't fulfill its purpose. I also think that men like Luther were active agents of God in moving the Church in directions it needed to go when it needed to be moved. Such men existed outside the line of decendency in the Old Testament, and they will likely exist until the Son of man returns.

Furthermore, it's worth mentioning that the road to the Papacy is filled with some pretty sharp drop offs. If you are truly unworthy, that has a tendency of making itself known. The higher you are up, the higher you fall down. You see this in Protestant Churches as well. I personally don't see a huge difference between the two. Both sides of the faith aisle are filled with scandal. Whether you are talking money, sex, or power, all are abuses of position and failings of man. Corporate style faith is probably even more likely, by its design, to temp men to sin. Something tells me that God already knew that though when he forgave Peter.

What I do know is God commissioned Peter and the other disciples. I can read about these things in the Gospels and the Book of Acts. I also believe in the value of the Catholic Church as I have aforementioned described and the Pope is part of the package. I also know that Christ didn't give up on Peter despite his failings, just as God didn't up on the line of David in the Old Testament despite their failings. A lot can happen in 2000 years both good and bad. I have faith in Christ and His Church. Maybe, just Maybe, I should have faith in the caretaker as well. I'm sure if the Pope screws up, the Lord will find a way to fix it.

Mary. Now my Mother would love Mary if Mom were Catholic. Being as my mother isn't Catholic, something tells me she might find that statement frightening. But my mother will be the first to tell you that Mom's, as a group, need more respect in this world.

The Catholic Church loves Mary, the blessed virgin. In fact, I know some Catholic men that love Mary more than they do there own mother's and wives. I have heard her described as soul sister, beauty in a blue dress, and the Mom of Ages. Most Protestants would jump faster than a startled cat at some of the comments I have heard about Mary and consider the whole Mary thing something out of Pagan history.

Going back to my Mother's lost appreciation of Mary; what Mary most symbolizes to me is the importance of family in the Catholic Church. Most devout Catholics can tell you every cousin Jesus ever had on this earth. It's my big fat Catholic Wedding all over again, but the bride is the Universal Church, and they are all about including the groom's family. Now about the only time a Protestant pays attention to this is the weekend after thanksgiving when they are setting up the manger scene outside under the oak tree.

As a side note that is worth mentioning here is that this whole dynamic has come to explain for me a weirdness that has always existed between my mother and my in-laws. My Catholic in-laws try and include my mother in on everything and it kind of weird's my mom out sometimes. Not that my Mother still wouldn't feel somewhat weird; but if she were Catholic and understood the Mary thing she would probably not find it as strange.

Anyway, do Catholics pray to Mary? No, but they do ask for intercessions. (See my comments on Saints.) Why would you ask for an intercession when you could just pray to Christ? My response to that and what I think you would hear most Catholics say: Fine – pray to Christ and stop bothering me. Use that as you may, there is no Saint requirement in Catholic rulebook.

Understand Saints are just people who had tremendous experiences of faith and are recognized as being close to God. Furthermore, an intercession is pretty much just asking a dead person to pray for you. (I know…a what?) But if you think about it that is really what it is, and if you are looking at understanding the Communion of Saints try and think of it in that way too. And why is that so bad? If you have someone who has mentored your life, given you insights into your faith, and in whom you have trust is in heaven with the Lord; why wouldn’t you want that person to pray for you? I mean, if they were alive you would want them to pray for you. So what is it about them being dead that is so troubling? Do people in heaven not pray? Why wouldn’t they?

Now others I know have verbalized concerns about iconic imagery. “Those Catholics pray to statues of Mary.” Though I find much of it gaudy and straight out of 1970’s interior design, I can’t say that iconic imagery bothers me. I think we have covered the intercession base. So understand that these people of influence have no physical form on this earth. Therefore wouldn’t you naturally use art as a substitute? Finally, as someone who has been to the Vatican, I can tell you that much of early Christian communication was done through art. After all, many couldn’t read and within the Roman Empire not everyone spoke the same language if they could read. So art (and statues) became the cornerstone of communication within the early church.

All in all what I will say is this: There is no other experience that has brought me closer to understanding how to interpret what God wants of me than being a parent. It is mind boggling how quickly you progress down that learning curve. And my children remind me everyday how I need to be more considerate of my mother and honor my memory of my father. So maybe, just maybe, an understanding of the woman God chose to be the Mother of His son on earth might possibly be able to assist me, in some way, with getting through this life. It's just a thought I am working with; haven't gotten crazy with it yet.

Reconciliation. One of the first conversations I was blessed to engage in at an RCIA session was on reconciliation (aka Confession). I actually joined the group right after the first phase, which was about accepting a belief in Christ. Father was pretty well convinced from my comments in his office that I passed that part upon his inspection. So I entered right as they were beginning their discussions of the disciplines of faith, and reconciliation was first on the list.

I was proud to share with this group my understanding of reconciliation in Catholicism was similar to when my 6 year tells me he’s sorry for taking his sister’s toy and I tell him not to do it again. This got quiet a laugh in the group and gave our facilitator a great transition point into the common misconception of reconciliation. But confession was always part of my disrespect of Catholicism as a practice. I mean, we Protestant Christians owned up to our sins and made them a part of who we were. We carried them like scars on our bodies as part of surrendering to Christ. I also ran weary of confession due to what I considered to be its overt hypocrisy; hence my joke. See, my Grandfather on my mother’s side had left the Catholic Church at an early age for just that reason. A devout Pentecostal, Grandpa couldn’t see the benefit of attending a Church where, in his words, "people sinned again right after asking for forgiveness."

I learned several things about reconciliation: Its a discipline created by the Church, it has evolved in function over the life of the Church, can take place in a variety of different forms, and is recommended to be done at least once a year. Furthermore, reconciliation is not about the Church, it's about you as a member of the body of Christ.

What I wanted to get resolved first was the hypocrisy issue. What I found most shocking is that Priest’s don’t have to grant you absolution. Part of their responsibility is to help you discern your understanding of your sin. The sacrament of reconciliation begins in the heart and has to be sincere. Now I am sure that some version of hypocrisy still exists in the sacrament, as in all things that involving the nature of man. But if my Grandfather was alive today and I was discussing this with him, I could look at him with a clear conscience and say that what I have come to know as reconciliation is not the confession of his day or his parish. Now I don’t know the specific circumstances by which Grandfather formed his opinion, or how what did bother him was relevant to other factors in his life, but what I do know is that the majority of parishioners that I have met in the Kansas City community take their faith seriously enough not to be flippant with the sacrament. Most Catholics I know have given me the impression that there is a direct relationship between a person’s sincerity in their faith and their practice of the sacrament of reconciliation. So basically, the cheaters don’t even bother.

How did reconciliation come about? Turns out it dates back to that whole Rome vs. the Christians thing. Rome made many a Christian fearful for their life and so had to choose between Caesar and Jesus. So those that broke under the fear of death were given Reconciliation as a means of re-entering the faith. Over the years the sacrament went from being offered once in someone’s life, to once a year, to twice a year, and it was a group of Irish priests that facilitated its practice as often as was needed in someone’s life. Its purpose has always been about serving the individual’s needs. The Church has, at times, made huge mistakes with reconciliation. Most of these relate to the relationship it has with Indulgences – enter the dark ages and later Martin Luther with the Reformation.

Why do I have to confess to a priest? Well, turns out you don’t confess to a priest. You confess to God. How this was best explained to me was in terms of the Community of faith as the body of Christ. Thomas Aquinas also helped me with his definition of sin. To Thomas Aquinas evil does not exist. Evil is the absence of good. With good as the adjective of all God’s creations, evil exists when good is removed from an object. Ergo, sin is created when we become separated from God. As a community that comprises the body of Christ, when we sin we become disconnected. Reconciliation is the process by which we become reconnected. At one time reconciliation was performed publicly in front of the whole congregation. Over time it became understood that the sacrament did more good on a one-on-one basis. So the priest became essentially the chosen delegate of the community to hear the members confess. As that delegate, he also bore the responsibility as God’s agent to assist the confessor in the reconciliation process.

From my own personal experience with the Sacrament of Reconciliation I could tell you that it was like the Priest was there and not there at the same time. I have unfortunately can offer no other analogy than this, but the Priest reminded me of when you help someone throw up. If you have ever been it that situation you know what I mean by that. The Priest is the person who rubs someone's back with one hand to help them keep calm and then squeezes their stomach with the other when they are vomiting to try and push everything out in as few tries as it takes. Father was very calming when I first sat down and then when I began to talk his face became completely blank, offering only two eyes to make contact with as I laid out my sins. His comments following my confession were amazingly insightful, calm, authoritative, and most importantly – focused on healing and how to recognize the power of God's grace in my life. What's weird is that when I was done I felt like I had thrown up. I was exhausted, numb, and just wanted to go to bed.

To really challenge you if you are stuck on Catholicism's use of a priest, I would mention the fact that you don't have to be Catholic to go to confession? So how can that be a requirement of Catholicism if it's a sacrament that is open to anyone who has been baptized? It is there for those who need it.

Now, if all of this is too deep for you, and you know what a life group is – think about this idea. Most confession is not like in the movies or on TV with you and the priest getting in the little clubhouse and are talking through a screen. Most confession is down in open conversation and can take place anywhere. Again, its role is fulfilling the need of an individual to reconnect to God. This comes about because we are human and stumble through life. So I would ask, "How are we most successful when we make a mistake?" When we have someone near us to help us get up and get back on track. Is that not why people join Life Groups? They fulfill that ongoing function in your life.

But why confess at all? What was it that the Church was trying to help us to do? Well, what I really think is funny is that the logic of Reconciliation is highly parallel to the Calvinistic argument behind adult baptism. Calvinist churches (i.e. Baptists), believe that baptism is a decision that only an adult can make. That the free will that God gives us has to be applied with fully developed faculties to make the decision to become a Christian. Then and only then can we experience the Grace of God. In a Catholic’s world, Reconciliation is also adult baptism. If baptism connects us with the body of Christ and sin separates us. The way that a person who has already been baptized (at whatever age), reconnects to the body of Christ is through the sacrament of reconciliation. So what I think is really funny is that the Catholic and Baptist Churches (who normally tend not to agree on a whole lot) actually have the same idea and recognize the same need, but they service that need in two different ways.

I experienced reconciliation right before becoming Catholic. As a baptized member of the Elect, it was highly encouraged, but not required, that I do this. Logically, it made all kinds of sense to me. In fact, I don’t know why Reconciliation is only a Catholic thing? Mark Batterson, in Wild Goose Chase makes a similar point. Batterson encourages it amongst his Independent Congregation members. I would think that this might help with the whole “inverted Christianity” concept as well.

Furthermore, doesn't Christ call us to reconciliation? In Christ's masterful sermon commonly referred to as the Beatitudes, Jesus proclaims in Mathew 5:4 "blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted." I had always interpreted this as mourning the loss from death of an individual; a loved one, family member, or friend. But it was John Stott, an English Theologian and author, who helped me see that mourning is not the sorrow of bereavement that Christ refers, but rather the sorrow of repentance. Jesus is promising comfort to those who mourn the loss of their innocence, their righteousness, and their self-respect. More simply put, He promises relief to those who carry the burden of guilt for their actions. He promises comfort to those in need who have been separated from God.

Prayer. Prayer is something that I truly love and strive to commit time daily for prayer. My biggest concern with Catholicism and Prayer is what I saw as empty prayers said over and over again without meaning. Prayers to me must come from the heart. I am also one of those people that see real logic in the argument that when Christ gave us the Lord's Prayer He wasn't giving us a script; he was giving us an outline. The crux of the position is that when the disciples asked Jesus how to pray, they were asking for an alternative to scripted prayer. That they had seen Him open his heart in prayer and want to learn how to do that. (This also is a rationale as to the differences between the two versions of the prayer in Mathew and Luke.) So Christ gave them an outline to use in prayer to guide them in this way:

I. "Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven."

Begin your prayers by offering glory to God.

II. "Give us this day our daily bread."

Next give thanks for what the Lord has provided to you.

III. "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."

Next ask for forgiveness of your sins and pray for those whom have sinned against you.

IV. "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

Now is the time to ask for something of need in your life; whether it be strength, wisdom, or comfort.

V. "For thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory, now and forever. Amen."

End with a reiteration of offering Glory to God.

The first thing I learned about prayer in the Catholic Church is that right behind that missing Chapter in the rule book about Saints is the missing Chapter on Prayer. There are no rules – do whatever you like, it's about a personal relationship with God. The next thing I learned about Prayer in the Catholic Church is that a lot has happened over the last 2000 years. Over 2000 years we have passed through times in which not every spoke the same language, we have passed through times in which the populace at large could not read, and best of all – in the last 2000 years we have had some people write some pretty good prayers that were worth remembering.

So okay, I get it; at times in the past scripted prayer add value and I can pray however I want. However, how do I use those guide posts within a Catholic faith life and my love of more open hearted prayer to find my ground to build on? I mean, Mass is still repeated nearly word for word daily, the Lord's Prayer is repeated uniformly in Mass, and Hail Mary's only seem to only have weight by the pound.

Well, I kind of started backwards. I asked myself what it would mean if I just cut out scripted prayer altogether. Well Mass taught me that I would probably have to throw out the entire book of Psalms from the Bible, which I didn't want to do. I still believe that Christ was giving us a living mode of prayer as much as he was a prayer to know with the Lord's Prayer. But there is also something special about the Lord's Prayer in Mass: The whole Parish holds hands and says it in unison. Now as much as I know that is not unique to Catholicism, I still find it a very powerful experience in which I feel very connected to my community of faith and to Christ all at once – Kind of like the Sacrament of the Eucharist. Also, if I was going to give up the Psalms I would have to pass on Christian music because aren't those the same thing? You can be in prayer through song. So that is how I found my common ground: Scripted prayer allows me to unify in faith with others and open hearted prayer allows me to share my heart with God.

So then I bought a book of Catholic Prayer to become "in the know" when I am hanging out with cradle Catholics like my wife who had these prayers stenciled on their brain at the age of six. But I discovered something really neat when I read through it – there are some really good prayers in there. Kind of like "Footprints," a favorite of mine that I like to read and think about sometimes, there were some prayers in there I wanted to read over and over again. I also discovered prayers for stuff I would rarely pray about because I didn't know what to say. So maybe I could use those prayers for that stuff that is on my heart but can't find its way to my tongue.

That's finally when I remembered a book I really loved, Invitation to a Journey, by M. Robert Mulholland Jr. Rev. Mulholland is a Methodist Minister for a Church in North Carolina. In his book he helps people discover how to relate to God. He takes classic psychological learning systems and applies them to faith disciplines. In doing this he also makes the point that everyone relates to God in their own way, there is no single method of uniform success; and that when you focus too much on "the right way" as to how everyone should be doing it you actually distance yourself from God. So with that thought, I just relaxed about the whole thing and stopped worrying about it.

What is funny is that near the end of RCIA I found out something very ironic. The Catholic Church has been concerned that chanted (repetitive) prayer could become lifeless since the end of the fifteenth century. Shamefully, like so many other things in this life, I didn't think of it first. Also of surprise was that the Church was proactive about it. They knew that chanted prayer had become a mainstay of Catholic life by that time, especially after the Hail Mary was used as a unifying prayer of all Europeans to fend off an invading Turk army; so they enhanced it to keep it of the heart. The Church developed the practice of meditating on the Mysteries of Christ's life (15 stages) while in the midst of repetitive chanted prayer. I can't say as I would necessarily prefer this method to open hearted prayer, but I at least credit to the Church for having their "heart" in the right place.

Then I also found out something even more interesting; Catholics view the Lord's Prayer as an outline of the Gospels. So maybe I wasn't all that far away from Catholic dogma anyway. Now think about that for the idea of everything being interrelated too. Christ taught us to pray in a manner pleasing to God that is a reflection of the Gospels, which are the story of His life, which is the fulfillment of the creation of God's new covenant, and which is the fulfillment of scripture since the being of time. Hmm??

Oh and Hail Mary's – if you are someone like I was that thought these were not Biblically based. I suggest you read the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 1, versus 26-38. The Hail Mary is actually a summary of these versus of the Bible. So it's a Catholic version of a "Life Verse" really. It is also a devotional prayer (not a liturgical one) that is the combination of a salutation and a petition. The petition portion was actually added by the people of Ephesus in what has to be the greatest act of wholesale chivalry known to history. What I find most intriguing about the petition ("pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death") however, and the fact that the Hail Mary is most cherished by the poorest of Catholic nations around the world, is how it reminds me of my Dad's favorite hymn: Amazing Grace. If Amazing Grace was listed on the program for that Sunday at our church growing up you might as well just go ahead and get a Kleenex because Dad was going to loose it. See, both the hymn and the prayer cry out for those most broken and fractured by this world; to which Dad always felt kinship with.

Rosary. I should admit at the beginning of this section that I have really embraced the Rosary. I carry one in my pocket every where I go. Though it was designed for chanted prayer, many people use the Rosary for a variety of different things. (Again - another missing chapter from the Catholic rule book.) I use the Rosary as a constant reminder to think of others before myself. Each Rosary is set up so that one circuit is 50 prayers. So when I pray with it I use it to pray for 50 different people. Try it sometime – it's hard. I have hundreds of clients, hundreds of friends, and thousands of acquaintances both in KC and around the globe and it can be hard to think of 50 people to pray for. But you know what? I am always glad I did. It's like prayer exercise; tough to get started but once you get going you are glad you have formed the habit.

Now please understand no one told me to go get a Rosary. Having one is part of that missing chapter in the Catholic rulebook. There was no section on the Rosary even in RCIA. Catholics don't wear them like Boy Scout badges on their clothes or trade them like baseball cards. I was simply given one by a dear friend. A youth center that services disadvantaged children made them. She bought one for me there and gave it to me as a gift for deciding to become Catholic along with a book on the life of Mary. I love the thing. It's simple, dynamic, and wrapped in love. What more of a tool could one want to use as a way to think of others daily?

Community of Faith. I have talked a lot about this in my journal and thought it deserved its own discussion. So really, what does it mean? At times in my life I thought this was a euphemism for "members only," or "just the rich kids, please." Growing up in Quincy I was lead to believe at a young age by many that this was true. Then in Jr. High and High School I went to work with a lot of these kids and realized that if they were rich they were hiding it better than I ever could. But this holds true in Johnson County, KS today as well. In fact the wealthiest zip code in the county (and there are several to choose from believe me) has, at its epicenter, Holy Trinity Catholic Church and School. Not to mention the Missouri side of Kansas City, that touts very prestigious (and expensive) Catholic Schools for all ages. Therefore you naturally have a cross over with the Country Club crowd and Catholic Churches in this area.

But is that the Catholic Church or is it Geography? If you know anything about the Jesuits (the education arm of the Catholic Church), you would learn quickly that all that money came from the guts to enter difficult areas and educate kids in need. The financial successes of today are really the result of much hard work and quality education that was done generations ago by those with no money. The challenges to those Catholics are more about continuing to infuse good values and an appreciation for prior efforts into the students of today. These efforts come with successes and failures of their own. But nonetheless, we should be careful about judging people for doing God's work successfully.

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But enough about money, what is the Community of faith really? It is the body of Christ. But what does that mean? Are Catholics the only real Christians? (Dear Lord, what a thought.) Though I am sure there are fundamentalists in every faith including Catholicism – as I was as a protestant - absolutely not. I believe Christ taught that lesson to the Jews in Luke 4: 24-30:

Jesus said to the people in the synagogue at Nazareth:"Amen, I say to you,no prophet is accepted in his own native place.Indeed, I tell you, there were many widows in Israelin the days of Elijahwhen the sky was closed for three and a half yearsand a severe famine spread over the entire land.It was to none of these that Elijah was sent,but only to a widow in Zarephath in the land of Sidon.Again, there were many lepers in Israelduring the time of Elisha the prophet;yet not one of them was cleansed, but only Naaman the Syrian."When the people in the synagogue heard this,they were all filled with fury.They rose up, drove him out of the town,and led him to the brow of the hillon which their town had been built, to hurl him down headlong.But he passed through the midst of them and went away.

So then, how do Catholics capture this concept of the body of Christ and a community of faith as their own? Well the word Catholic means "universal" and refers to a single, visible communion, separate from others. But in fact, most Catholics, and the Church of today, doesn't claim exclusivity. They do however; take great pride in being the origination of Christ's Church within the new covenant relationship. Most Catholics that I have met look at the Reformation as a political disagreement between a good man and a leadership structure that measured itself by how well it could align its nasal cavity with its rectal cavity. But as unfortunate – and necessary - of a situation that the Reformation was, it still shouldn't, and doesn't, change how everyday Catholics experience God. After all, it's about a personal relationship with God isn't it?

I almost died when I heard that for the first time in RCIA – I thought only Protestants believed in a personal relationship with God. After all, wasn't that why Luther did his thing in the first place? Surprisingly however, and I mean it was a HUGE surprise to me, the Catholic Church is all about fostering a personal relationship with God. But how can a community focus be about a personal relationship? Well, people need a place to connect and the Church simply fulfills that role as the facilitator of relationships to God through community building. Wow, sounds kind of Protestant like? So maybe I should remember again that Jesus forgave Peter three times for not having his head on straight. I think it is safe to say the Lord new the likelihood of it happening again was not outside the realm of possibility. But yet, he still forgave Peter.

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So let's merge these two topics together to get to a very significant aspect of the Community of Faith. Because there is a social aspect of Catholicism which is what brings it into the fold of corporate faiths. Its things like Catholic Schools, Catholic Community Centers, Catholic retirement homes, Catholic Charities, Catholic Hospitals, Catholic Universities, Catholic Television, Catholic Radio, Catholic Book Stores, and so on, and so on. What is so special about Catholicism, or Judaism, or any ism that means they have to all operate in there own little bubble? Well the answer, not surprisingly, is nothing.

But why does any church have an outreach program? Yes outreach, I am sure people forget that sometimes, but that is really what we are talking about here. The church we had been attending sponsors an Easter egg hunt annually at the Kansas Speedway which usually brings together about 20,000 children and Lord knows how much chocolate. You want to talk about ditching the Liturgical Calendar; a church sponsored Easter egg hunt has to be up there with as bold as you can get. My wife and son were the only two in our family that ever attended, but if I had to guess it was much more fun to Jackson that a three hour Easter Vigil. But this was part of their outreach program to the community. All churches have some sort of outreach program. Outreach rarely if ever discriminates and sometimes even becomes multi-denominational to make certain things happen for God. So let's go back to the concepts of longevity and success for the Lord. Because the way I see it, that is what we are talking about here. You have an organization that has taken outreach in many directions over time based on the different needs of the communities and generations it was a part of, it has been successful, and it has molded these "programs" into roles that serve the changing needs of the world they are in now.

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Now at the same time, yes, the Church does facilitate a lifestyle by which you can surround yourself with all things Catholic, and people do. There are tight knit relationships and bonds formed over years of networking and mutual personal development opportunities that transcend other typical community social networks. And they build on one another too, and last throughout someone's life.

So in the end of this process do I feel like I joined a club? Well kind of - yeah. I joined a club of Christian believers who want to mutually support one another in a life of faith and community with Jesus Christ, a club of people around the world that join together in prayer daily, and a club that was commission by Christ to be a lamp post for those progressing along their faith path. But do I feel a social shift as well – also yes. Catholics make it a point to embrace one another in a way I have not seen with anything else I have ever been a part of. It is on par to having kids and meeting other couples with kids the same ages as your own. People openly reach out to you to welcome you into "the family" and then treat you like you have been there your whole life. You have instant trust, rapport, and connection to many. But why do I see that this happens? I believe it is because Catholicism is a daily choice. I find it very similar to having become an Eagle Scout. At my award ceremony a Scoutmaster stood at the podium and talked about how I was now a marked man. As much as I would like, being an Eagle Scout is something that would follow me for good and bad the rest of my life. People would expect things of me because I was an Eagle Scout. From what I have experienced in the reactions I have faced from friends and acquaintances to my decision to convert, I see Catholicism as being very similar. There is a social transparency you now have in being a Christian that you can no longer hide. You are marked for all to see. So yes, fellow Catholics respond to that in ways of understanding each other that may appear cliquish to non-Catholics.

Scholars. For those die hard Protestants out there wandering around center field avoiding third base, I thought you might want to know that in the last 2000 years the works of Catholic scholars could fill several libraries, and do. This was very much of an I-could-a-had-a V-8 moment for me. Now I love many great modern authors who focus on faith, but I just thought it would be worth mentioning that books on faith in the Catholic Church have been round for awhile. Oh, and for us X-Files fans out there, these books aren’t kept in a secret vault somewhere in the Vatican sub-basement for only Bishops to read. We can find them in places called “Catholic Book Stores” and on the internet.

Subtleties. On a final lighter note, I thought I might mention some of those subtleties I found interesting in day to day observation:

For those of you out there that know what a life group is, let me tell you – a parish is a 2000 year old life group (no kidding, the similarities are amazing).

A priest is a minister that realized sometime in the last 2000 years that he is not the reason people attend this particular church. And yes, most priests are 2000 years old by the way – or at least act like they feel that old. Well, most of the ones I have met anyway.

Parishioners – not a whole lot different than a congregation really. You have the same ensemble of personalities that make up both groups.

Weekly Bible study – is done in the Mass – you cover it in two years daily and six years weekly. They put in the Liturgy of the Word because they needed more help in the soup kitchens on Wednesday nights. J I was actually told by someone that Catholics don’t read the Bible? A third of the Mass is reading the Bible and the rest of it is an expression of scripture. My Catholic wife spits out Rain-man like responses on Biblical history due the zealous approach of her Catholic School religion teachers. So…yeah, I’m just missing that one. Also Catholics do have what is called "breaking open the word" (a.k.a. Bible Study) which is done in small groups that meet regularly.

Bringing a Bible to Church – No rule against it. They didn't kick me out for bringing mine. Mine was eventually replaced by a Missal however. Because a Mass is a faith discipline and not a worship service there is no program. The Missal is an outline of the Liturgy of the Word (Scripture Readings in Mass) for a given period of time – usually a year. So, you can look up the passages in advance and go to them during Mass in your Bible, or you can just turn to the date in your Missal and read the same thing. So yes, I am lazy too. Now if you're like me, and like being able to put the scripture being used in greater context to fully understand the sermon / homily don't fret. Understand that this is why Mass is best understood as a daily discipline. If you follow the Liturgy of the word daily you will already understand it within the greater context of the Bible because it's progressive in nature. Oh, and this is a great way to form the habit of reading the Bible every day – also something many Protestants think Catholics don't do.

Sunday school turned into School - At some point I guess the Church realized that if they didn’t have to worry about the adults running off and starting a new church, they could just focus on family development and so no longer had to keep worrying about planting seeds in their kids. So then they just decided to make “religion” a class in school. I am not sure really where I fall on this subject given my wife's experiences. But if the State of Kansas keeps cutting the education budget, I may explore it further.

Finally, after hundreds of years of celibacy and fasting priests invented beer. Today those that are married and overweight drink it all the time. :)

Marketing

Speaking of the Catholic Church's marketing department, it amazes me how the Church continues to let the obvious big picture get obscured through little details. I have firmly become of the opinion that the greatest failing of the church is the lack of leadership it offers in the larger Christian Community. There is much that the church could be doing in our social landscape and its not. There is much experience and generosity it could be sharing with other churches and its not. It needs to stop making its failures the only thing to talk about. The Church needs to stop leading with things like indulgences, and start talking more openly about the beauty of living in communion with Christ and in the grace of God.

So let me really illustrate this point with the aforementioned topic of transubstantiation. There is more to Catholicism than this, but let's work within the box. There is an army of atheists, Protestants, and disenfranchised Catholics out there waiting to autopsy the next parishioner walking out of the sacrament line to prove that the little wafer they just ate didn't turn into an ounce of Christ's flesh. And God bless the Catholic Church, they deal with this situation by arguing with people on this subject at that level.

But can we focus on the big picture here for just a minute – everyone? Those want-a-be morticians are like the audience of a very skilled Las Vegas magician; one's attention is on the left hand and diverted away from the right hand where the real "magic" is taking place. Transubstantiation is a change is substance, not in form. Ask yourself this: Why does the substance need to change? Why is this important at all? Because it creates a change in us. The "magic" of the Sacrament of the Eucharist occurs in the person digesting it. Stop worrying about the wafer. If you want to autopsy someone you need to be looking in their heart when you cut them open and not their stomach because that is where the change occurs. It occurs because we bring the body and blood of Christ into our physical being becoming one in the body of Christ. It is a spiritual connection to Christ through a physical experience, and is part of our covenant relationship with Him that He instituted.

Now for those of you out there that look at me after reading this like you always do, and insert the word “symbolically” after every point I make insisting nothing actually really happens. Well, I just can’t accept that. For me, something is happening. Something has always happened for me in whatever Church I attended, and not just with the Catholic Bread. So much so that this was another reason the rabbit came out of the hole for us. The church we were attending had only offered "communion" twice in two and a half years. I missed it, and regularly inquired about it.

So if I didn't accept transubstantiation as a real change for the reasons I just explained, then I would have to ask myself why my Baptism was so important to me. See – interrelated. The change in substance is in us brought about by a connection to a physical substance the Spirit inhabits for that change. (Ironically in things that support life: Bread, water, blood, and light.) God is passing into us (whether it is baptism, the Eucharist, or other) creating a change in us through the act of a physical connection. (Remember those that reached out and touched Christ's robe to be healed? It was those who had faith in Him.) So yes, as I have come to see it, God is physically present in the moment and we experience our connection to the body of Christ.

See if I was in the marketing department of the Catholic Church and trying to position transubstantiation for the masses I would be talking about the best place to sit in Mass to appreciate the experience. I mean if you want to get it, you got to know where to sit so you can take it all in. That seat, for me, would be the cockpit of the space shuttle with a pair of theater glasses as it orbits the earth. (I know….Ahh….what?) See, the Church does talk about the Mass as a unilateral event connecting Catholics around the globe in communion with Christ. Fantastic! So, I envision this holistic image of it all happening, and that it would be most easily appreciated from space – because you need to see the whole earth to take it all in. It would be kind of like looking at the largest crop circle ever. And what would it look like? My bet is that it would look a lot like the image that was left on the Shroud of Turin.

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Another good example of misguided approach to leadership is the situation the Church faces with the manning needs across the globe for Priests. Many within the Church community are taking it upon themselves to help the Church with this issue and God Bless them for that. One key suggestion I have heard a great deal about is in letting married men be priests. Now that is fine, I find nothing fundamentally wrong with that idea from a faith perspective. However, this is the strongest point of discussion on this issue and will do little, if anything, to solve the greater problem. As a man who has faced the discomfort of balancing a demanding career and being a parent I have what I believe to be some insight into this issue. The role of a Priest is more demanding than any I have ever had to deal with. I wouldn't want to look into the bright blue eyes of my kids and balance that guilt with the guilt of not serving God. Are you kidding me – its hard enough to do with clients and growing a business let alone throwing in the eternal salvation of everyone I meet.

In just looking at the Priesthood from a "job" perspective, imagine if you would the job application for Priest. There would have to be a box on there you must check in order to get the job and that would read something to the effect of, "Are you willing to travel 80-90% of the time." Because lets face it, being a Priest is no different than serving in the Military. Sure, let in married men into the priesthood – so what – but be prepared for them only wanting to serve 4-8 years of there life. And if turning the priesthood into a transient service environment like the military is a comfortable decision for the Church then fine let's do it. But let's fix our problem too.

The Church needs young men, 25-30 years old, who want to devote their life to the service of God and his community here on earth. Yes, that is easy to say and not easy to do. But it starts with leadership: Leadership in the Community, leadership in the parish, and positive involvement with young people. Priests should be role models in our community, and for lack of a better term they need to be re-branded that way. This is something we need to do for the next generation – ours is lost of this already; we need to do it for our kids and their kids. I heard a very arrogant Catholic say once, "Not everyone can be Catholic." Bullshit. Anyone can be Catholic – not anyone can be a Priest. It takes a special person to be a Priest. Are you that person? If you are, we need you.

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All in all I have come to see this poor marketing effort as a result of not knowing when to put the cart first and when to put the horse first; those two images representing the actions of the Church and actions of Jesus Christ.

To explain this thought I reference the Catechism on the Church's position on dogmas of the faith:

The dogmas of the faith
88
The Church's Magisterium exercises the authority it holds from Christ to the fullest extent when it defines dogmas, that is, when it proposes, in a form obliging the Christian people to an irrevocable adherence of faith, truths contained in divine Revelation or also when it proposes, in a definitive way, truths having a necessary connection with these.
89
There is an organic connection between our spiritual life and the dogmas. Dogmas are lights along the path of faith; they illuminate it and make it secure. Conversely, if our life is upright, our intellect and heart will be open to welcome the light shed by the dogmas of faith.50
90
The mutual connections between dogmas, and their coherence, can be found in the whole of the Revelation of the mystery of Christ.51 "In Catholic doctrine there exists an order or ‘hierarchy' of truths, since they vary in their relation to the foundation of the Christian faith."52

I am in complete agreement with this position in the Catechism; I just believe is poorly applied in practice. The Church's role is to light the path of faith as the Catechism states. To many times in its history, the Church's blurs the line of lamp post with that of tour guide. A lamp post lights the way, it doesn't point the way. The Church shouldn't be positioning itself in a way so that the individual gets confused between those two ideas. Now I am not saying that the Church is too controlling. I am saying that church isn't clear – in its application of its dogmas – as to what's its overall role is. I mean you want to wonder why you can ask eight different Catholics why something is done a certain way and get ten different answers; that’s it.

Now granted they don't have to manage a sophisticated hierarchy, but many Protestant Churches have this down well. You want to understand the explosion of Calvinist philosophy in the U.S right now through the Independent Church movement - look no further, you found the answer. Independent Churches are really good about telling you what they are, and are not, when fulfilling a role in your life. They are really good about pointing out what is a Jesus thing and what is a Church thing. In support of a commonality with Catholicism, these Churches will tell you if you can only come to church only once a week to go to a Life Group and skip the worship service. So let's understand this: Anyone who has any marketing experience can tell you that if you want to be successful in marketing you must be able to successfully define yourself.

That last point is, in my opinion, how the Catholic Church can better manage through its challenges today. Improve on delineating between what is a Jesus thing and what is a Church thing. It needs to stop martyring itself as the messenger; let the message do its own work as it has done successfully for thousands of years. I believe the Church has always struggled with this because of section 89 of the Catechism; the organic connection between one's spiritual life and dogma's. This is the greatest strength of the Catholic Church and its greatest weakness. The Church needs to be a conduit for faith practice, not a conduit for faith. Because when the Catechism goes on to talk about the hierarchy of truths in section 90, the Church needs to remember this concept: Truths are not truths because they come through the Church; the Church's role is to talk about the truths that come from God.

So what is the easy answer? Don't talk about dogma – talk about Jesus – period. Be a light for Christ in the world, not an organization that sends out memos on policy changes. There is a point in sales when it is more important to shut up than to continuing to talk. Talk about Jesus and then shut up – the rest will all work itself out.

Forgiveness

My Brother asked me once why given all he had showed about how there really was no difference in becoming Catholic and returning to a church sourced out of the Luther arm of the Church's family tree – i.e.: Methodist – so why do I still wanted to become Catholic? My answer to him was forgiveness.

I have made such a fool out of myself for years letting feelings of animosity and anger over all things Catholic affect my life. I had given such power and control over my life to absolute nothingness. I let it stand in the way of relationships, opportunities, and even affected how I dealt with some people at work. I really was pathetic. Early on in my life when I found out that my family left for the new world because the church considered them heretics and wanted them killed (we were some of the earliest Protestants). That seed planted in me such poor feelings that I let any thing negative about Catholicism only reinforce my attitude.

I learned 15 years ago that God had a sense of humor when I met my wife. Being Catholic I felt she was safe to date because there would be no way I would marry someone who was Catholic, and at the time I met my wife finding the woman of my dreams was not a priority. I would get so hurt by her friends and family sometimes because they would ask me what religion I was. I would answer them Christian in response because I couldn't believe how insensitive they were being to my faith. Little did I realize many of them couldn't figure out where Michelle had met me? Then a weird thing happened; I fell in love. I will forever credit my wife with showing me what it means to love someone. Soon I was looking at everyday as a chance to earn her respect and trust. Then I realized one sunny day in Huntington, England, as I watched her leave on the afternoon train for London that I never wanted to be without her again.

So that meant that I would have to form a relationship with her parents, who were again - Catholic. Dear Lord why? And her aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, cousins, and grandparents – yes, yes, all Catholic. Even a cousin was a Priest. It was my Big Fat Catholic Quincy Wedding. Blah!

You want to know the most sickening part of it all. They all seemed to like me – freaks. Worst than that, they all treated me like I was born into the family? This I really appreciated, but truly couldn't get. I mean if Catholics had such feelings and could be so much fun, why was it that they insisted on boring God to death in church? Over the 15 years of my relationship with my wife I have come to appreciate how family and community are strongly linked to, and nurtured in, the Catholic life.

My in-laws truly are wonderful people and they have earned my respect and trust because they have never asked me to be anything other than myself. In fact, they even go out of their way to support those things that I find help me identify who I am as a person. Trying and weird as it was for them at times I am sure; I am another color in the rainbow they call family which all can enjoy. My differences, which is what I saw that separated me from them and their family, is what they saw that made me special and worth having in the family. And I never got the feeling that it was because they felt they just got lucky with someone they blended with. That is just how they engage with others. I guess when it came to love; my wife had some good teachers.

So converting to Catholicism has allowed me the joy of loving something I used to despise, and if you have never done that before I highly recommend it. It's mind blowing! Take something you said you would never do – like say, living in Kansas – and do it. You might just be surprised how much you like it and how it helps you grow as a person. Forgiveness has also allowed me to experience reconciliation in a powerful way. Because once you have success in forgiving something and / or someone it gets easier the next time. You then find it easier to forgive yourself for things. Then you become more accepting of others and find hope in dealing with the responsibilities God has given us caring for His creation. Before long, you completely open the door to trusting in God.

Reading as a road for adventure

As I indicated previously, I have been on a reading terror as part of the impact this has made on my life. I offer here below a list of what I have been able to digest in all, or in part, that has influenced me in my decision making process. I offer it to you for as my gift and hope it helps you the reader in any way:

The Beatitudes - Jesus Christ

The Book of James - Bible

The Gospel of Luke - Bible

The Gospel of Mark - Bible

The Gospel of John - Bible

Paul's Letter to the Philippians - St. Paul

Paul's Letter to the Thessalonians - St. Paul

Paul's Letter to the Romans - St. Paul

Paul's Letter to the Ephesians - St. Paul

"The Mystery of Faith, an Introduction to Catholicism" Michael Himes

"Rome Sweet Home" Scott & Kimberly Hahn

"Invitation to a Journey" M. Robert Mulholland Jr.

"Wild Goose Chase" Mark Batterson

"Why Catholics Do That?" Kevin Orlin Johson

"Understanding the Mass" Charles Belmonte

"Summa Theologica" Thomas Aquinas

"Thomas Aquinas for Armchair Theologians" Timothy Renick

"The Catechism of the Catholic Church" multiple

"Theology for Beginners" F. J. Sheed

"Prayers of Christian Consolation" multiple

"The Nooma Project" (DVD) Rob Bell

"Mere Christianity" C.S. Lewis

Catholic Magazine - Podcasts (I Tunes)

"On the Incarnation" St. Athanasius

"The Scandal of the Incarnation" Hans Urs von Bathasar
(Irenaeus Against the Heresies, Selected writings of St. Ignatius)

"Developing Spiritual Character" John Stott
(A study of the Beatitudes)

"Good to Great in God’s Eyes" Chip Ingram

The Catholic Channel - Sirius Satellite Radio

"Rosary Stars" (DVD) Family Theater

Ipadre.net - Podcasts (I Tunes)

United States Conference on Catholic Bishops' website http://www.usccb.org/

"A Purpose Driven Life" Rick Warren

Epilogue

I am glad to say first and foremost I think that this process has helped my marriage. Not that my marriage needed help, but there is definitely something to be said about being on the same faith page when you weren't before. If for no other reason that this is something you now have in common and so particular faith disciplines no longer seem so one-sided. Though I have to admit, it could just be because Michelle now has a husband that is just as excited about going to a fish fry – who knows?

But seriously, it has helped both of us. For me, I finally feel grounded. For Michelle, I think she really enjoys having me as a partner in the Church experience. I think that her faith was just something she didn't want to have to do alone. Now that she has me as a partner in this "Catholic Thing," she has started to become much more open than I have ever seen her in evolving our church life.

My relationship with my brother has improved with this decision as well. He and I have found an interesting connection point that we can grow closer with and I am thankful for that. I think Keith is also just glad to see us on the correct side of the worship river and not a part of a Calvinist Church. But I will leave Keith's opinions to Keith, I tend to get in trouble when I don't do that.

All in all, this has had a tremendous impact on my life. I think I have found something that fits me and my relationship with God. It has fulfilled my prayer requests for solidifying Christ as the center of our family. It has fulfilled my prayer request to find the time to pray more regularly and for more people. It has humbled me in a tremendous way and created opportunities to celebrate forgiveness. It has provided me with the triggers I need to be more available for Christ in my daily life and the actions I devote my time too. Furthermore, I have discovered what my own fundamental theological perspectives are, and those allow me to be a leader in my marriage and for my children.

Finally, I feel spiritually healthy for the first time in a long time. So long I really can't even remember. It reminds me a lot of basic training and how I felt when I left San Antonio, TX. I feel truly grounded in who I am. As someone who has lost 50 lbs three times in my life I know there is a difference between working towards a goal and living within and sustaining what you have worked for. You could say I feel 50 lbs lighter and feel more normal because of it. (Now if I could only loose that physical weight again.)

But this experience has been essentially the beginning of a new life in many ways. I know this will also affect many aspects of the faith life I had known from before. I touch on those under the following themes:

Ministry. One key component for me of Catholicism is activity and that is something I have already begun to embrace and look forward to continuing. Of course, people of all denominations are active in ministry all over the world, and I continue to welcome similar opportunities in my life as a Catholic. But one of the key differences I see between my life as a Protestant and my life as a Catholic could be called the Ministry of Daily Living.

Like all corporate faiths, Catholicism really shines in this way. Whether it be prayer, scripture, service, family, community, or neighborhood in nature; I have found Catholicism to offer a lifestyle based on the idea of an abundant life. Abundant life is not about rolling in money, physical goods, or constant buffet style eating. Abundant life is about a sense of fulfillment which comes out of doing your part in God's community; and that it doesn’t matter what your role in the community is – it just matters that you do your part in honor of God and do it to the best of your ability. Essentially you become Adam; caretaker of creation, gardener of Eden, and assume responsibility as your brother's keeper.

If you want to know why Catholics seem so cliquish – that's it – the sense of purpose in community for working towards an abundant life with God; a life that is not about preparing oneself for the world to come, but living in Christ in the world today to His purpose. Just before the sacrament of the Eucharist, parishioners turn to one another and offer each other the sign of peace. Why do they do that? They do it because it's the great equalizer. This act is the moment of recognition that we are all equal, that all grievances have received forgiveness, and that we are joining together as one body in Christ. So to all; peace be with you.

Ironically, the person I think who has summarized this best is a minister of another Independent Church, Rob Bell. Rob did a project called Nooma. Nooma is a series of short films that explore our current world from the perspective of Jesus. In film #3 entitled "Trees," Rob makes the case about living for God today and not getting stuck between the trees:

"We want to know why we are here. If our lives really matter. How our religion is relevant to this life. Today. We want to understand what significance this minute, hour, week, month, and year has to our lives. To our world. We need a God who cares about this life, in this world, right now. We want to understand why everything we think, everything we say, and everything we do matters. We don't want to just sit back and wait for something to happen or someday to come. We want to know if our choices we make now will shape our world and lives for eternity. Because we want our lives to have meaning today, and our lives today to have meaning forever."

This is quintessential Catholicism to me: victory over death, communion with Christ, and living a life with purpose in Him starting today and lasting forever.

Family. It is my sincere hope that my Mother is accepting of my decision to become Catholic. I recognize this is something she would never do herself and will probably struggle to understand why I made this decision for me. I love my Mother dearly and respect her for her own decisions as I hope she respects me for mine. If my Dad was alive he would probably be happy for me, but concerned. Dad never was that big on organized faith. He served on Church boards and was active when needed, but did those things out of responsibility - not passion. Like me, he was also big into prayer and would go to Church at times he wanted to talk with God without interruption. But Dad was always closest to God while working a trolling motor on a lake. I don't say that tongue in cheek either; Fishing was a spiritual thing for him as much as it was sport.

Now for my in-laws my wife tells me they will be excited. I would hope that would be true as are most Catholics that I meet, but I also look forward to reconciling with them over my feelings on Catholicism. This will be a time for me to be humble and gracious. It will also be a time for me to learn and to grow. I look forward to their thoughts as I continue along my faith journey.

As for our nuclear family Michelle and I are now equally yoked as they say. Both of our Children are now baptized Catholic. Michelle and I are now fully ingratiated members of the Church as well. So next on our plates will be Jackson's first communion and choosing a parish. You might think that we have already done the parish thing and we might just stick with Good Shepard. However we need to decide if we want to give Sacred Heart another chance. Sacred Heart is only about 1 mile from out house, and we tried that parish for three weeks two and a half years ago. There was nothing about the parish at the time that excited us and we moved on. Now with our family now all flying the same flag we have decided to at least explore it again to make certain Good Shepard is for us.

Apologetics. Personally, I have never been a fan of apologetics. I leave that for people like my brother who have a passion for it. I will help the interested understand things and the lost I will share my experiences with, but I don't generally feel the need to defend the Church against every yahoo with vocal chords and an opinion. And it had always been my opinion that the only Apologetics the Catholic Church involved itself in were edicts from Rome that fell on deaf ears and that usually offered as much relevance to the everyday person as the delivery route of a bread truck in Billings, Montana. Little did I know though that the sleeping giant has a voice, and a loud one, and it's not that hard to hear it if you know where to listen.

Ever hear of the Pepsi Challenge? Well I would offer up the same concept between the BOT Radio Network and the Catholic Channel. Take out the advertisements and call sign promotions and do content by content taste tests. I bet you would have a hard time telling them a part at certain times of day. The Catholics do have a bit more fun though. Greg and Jennifer Willits run a show out of Atlanta called The Catholics Next Door and one Friday I almost wrecked my car laughing when I heard an old Beastie Boys song (No…sleep…til…Brooklyn!!) re-worked to be: "No…Meat…on Friday's!!!!"

I will admit a key distinction here though too; Catholics are more into print media and Protestants are more into television and pod casts. That is changing daily, but still seems to be a good general rule. But if you consider the primary role of a minister as to that of a priest it would seem very obvious as to why that is true. The Web, however, is everyone's playground and there are amazing resources on the Web for Catholics. A primary resource for me has been the United States Council on Catholic Bishop's website. I find there the daily Liturgy of the Word, a daily homily, a daily Psalm, an on-line Catechism, links too many resources, and news and information about things happening within the Church at large.

But the main point here is that there are millions of American Catholics out there who are arguably much more Biblically savvy than their Protestant counterparts from what I have heard, and these people do involve their faith in the decisions they make, the expectations they have from their government, and in applying their faith to the coming and going of issues in the public eye. Furthermore, this is where I see the greatest blur in the line of separation between Catholicism and Protestantism. In listing to the pod casts from Catholic Magazine on ITunes, I was seriously shaken by how similar these were to Protestant sermons. The values, the message, the ideology, the prayers – all the same; these were concepts that I had always "owned" as being Protestant ideals. Turns out they are all much more universal than I ever would have imagined.

Finally, one might argue that my list of sources for this journal and experience were too Catholic in nature. That I didn't get enough expressed criticism of the Catholic Church. Well, as a regular reader of the New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and Reuters, trust me when I say one doesn't have to wander far to find criticism of the Catholic Church. What I have found to be more interesting though, and mentioned within this piece, are Protestant and Independent voices that actually affirm Catholic dogma, and Catholic voices that affirm Protestant and Independent dogma. So as I began to discover this huge crossover, I left the extremists out of it and stuck with people who would provide me a better understanding of fundamental Christian theology. In other words, in reconciling that we are all Christians what is it about our core differences that make us unique. Then, how do my beliefs align with any particular set of those core fundamentals.

Fellowship. This was one of my most feared aspects of Catholicism, and logic should have told me better being that Catholocism is a community focused organization. But admittedly I previously only looked at the negatives of the Catholic Faith. One of the most important aspects of my Protestant experience was the gangs of fellow faith travels I met along the way. These relationships not only help mold your faith, but more importantly they strengthen it at unexpected times deepening your personal commitment. I had expected this to be non-existent in the Catholic Church. After all, everyone just showed up for the wafer anyway right? Well, turns out – no.

What caught my attention first was how the Catholic Church openly acknowledged my concern. F. J. Sheed in his book Theology for Beginners calls these people the "uninstructed Catholic." Sheed describes them as, "Stumbling along in the dark not even aware that it is dark, half-fed and not even hungry for more, he is in no state to show others the light or the nourishment." Sheed just doesn't assign this label to the Catholic who doesn't attend Mass, but also includes the pew warmers in for the biscuit, a hand shake, and a wave until next week.

Then as I progressed through RCIA I began to understand how the Japanese felt after they bombed Pearl Harbor. I discovered a "sleeping giant" of heartfelt devout Catholics out there quietly and dutifully being disciplined children of God. These are serious people who embrace a life of faith. Faith I can respect that is timeless, committed, and led by Christ. I had always thought people like this had left the Catholic Church generations ago leaving only Sheed's uninstructed and die hard's in small towns like my in-laws behind. But not only are they there, but there is more of them than you would think; and they are the vibrant beating heart of most parishes.

Probably the most dramatic realization of this for me took place during the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick and after we became the "Elect" within the Parish. If you have never had a whole congregation pray for you while placing there hands on you consider yourself out of touch. All I can say is Wow. There have been a small number of moments in my life that I can count with just a few fingers in which I can honestly say I physically felt the presence of God. Well, during these events in Mass I could physically feel the Holy Spirit around me. As a 250 lb man I felt weightless, energized, and loved all at the same moment. I literally remember thinking that I hope I am straight up and down when this is over, and that my feet are the closest part of me to the floor. It was through these experiences and many others that I truly felt the Catholic Church was a place I could continue to grow in faith with others.

But what's funny is this whole idea of fellowship is really what my brother had been trying to tell me all along regarding denomination not mattering. I also found these same thoughts in the words of C.S. Lewis. Lewis makes the argument that the groups of sincere Christians, the ones truly in communion with Christ, can come from any denomination and are really more alike than they are with folks within their respective denomination. These are people that let Christ define them, not there denomination. Lewis argues that the differences between denominations are fueled from those at the periphery of a church not people truly focused on God. This point became real to me when I took a long time mentor of mine to lunch. Michael was in my Methodist Disciple Class, is a life long Christian, is on the Board of St. Paul's School of Theology where my brother is getting his Master's Degree in Divinity, is the Director of the Research Department at KU Medical Center, and is someone I consider a great friend. I basically put it to him that I was thinking about becoming Catholic and wanted him to talk me out of it. Michael looked at me and said, "Darin, you would make a great Catholic why would I talk you out of it…..What I have always like about you is your highly logic mind and your ability to recognize the interrelationships in things. Catholicism is highly logical and interrelated, so I can see why it would attract you. Go be a Catholic; you have my blessing." He then essentially told me to stop wandering around in center field like I described previously and that I needed to focus on getting back to God's purposes. He suggested I move on because God needs me focused on bigger things than deciding what denomination to belong too. Michael further went on to describe some mission work he and his wife had coming up and the needs of making that happen. After finding my concern fairly small in comparison, Michael asked me what difference it would make if I was Catholic or not as to whether I could help bring about solutions to those kinds of problems.

You have to love friends like that.

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So again, my hope is that by making these thoughts publicly available I can offer others some insight into my decision. I realize this will be very confusing for some people I have known for awhile. I also additionally hope that I might shed some light on the Catholic faith in a way others have not seen before. I believe Catholicism is a poorly marketed and highly misunderstood practice. My situation was unique, but I believe God lead me to this point because this is where he wants me to be. I also believe that he filled my heart with these thoughts to the point in which I had to write this down and share my experience.

Now if you're like many, if you’re like I used to be, and if you find it easier to Catholic bash or protestant bash than to understand; I challenge you to not just accept what others who agree with you say, but sit down with those who don't, share your views, and learn. Ask questions. Read the Catechism of the Catholic Church. (Yes, I know you just laughed.) Or what ever book of Faith Dogma you follow. But so you know though - the Catechism is universal in many ways, and even if you're not Catholic it may help you better understand your own faith through contrast. Then read the Bible, or read the Bible as you read the Catechism. I mean really read it. Read it and listen to it for how it speaks to you.

Oh and if you are a Catholic or Protestant bashing non-Bible reading Christian – SHUT UP! And no you’re not excused if you use the Bible like a reference book either, or you source passages off internet search tools on topics of interest, or if “people in the know” refer you to passages so that you are “armed” in your faith. If the Bible doesn’t “speak” to you personally – stop telling other people how it should speak to them. And before you even begin to presume how others should relate to Jesus Christ you may want to get His thoughts on the matter – and His thoughts should be how you hear them.

Know your faith. It’s yours after all, so why wouldn’t you? Why even claim to have a faith if you don’t understand the principals it’s based on? No there is nothing wrong with following wonderful men of God – the Bible is filled with such relationships and you can see I have referenced many of my own within this piece. But understand why such people are important to you. Empower your sense of discernment and use it to center yourself. Stop living vicariously through others. A friend of mine lives by the motto that every Christian needs a Paul and needs Timothy all at the same time. You have to have a mentor and be a mentor at the same time. You can only do that by reconciling what you learn within yourself so that you can pass it on. So read the Bible. If nothing else read the Gospels. But that Paul guy by the way, commissioned by God and all, he is pretty insightful too.

Finally, don't be afraid to challenge what you believe in. I wasn't and it changed my life in amazing ways. It helped me discover who I was and how I can best love God. It improved my closest relationships, answered many of my prayers, and gave me a joyous sense of peace by helping me center myself to God. My prayer is that you find that too.

My best to you in your search.

Your new Catholic neighbor, friend, relative, son (in-law), brother (in-law), or acquaintance,

Darin N. Shank

Michelle enjoying the "Sun" in Cancun

2009-02-09T14:35:00.002-06:00

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Please check out our Photo album for additional pictures.

Our Christmas Message

2008-12-10T10:56:00.002-06:00

Happy Holidays Everyone!

2008 has been a great year for the Shank household, but without too many changes. We still have the same jobs, live in the same house, and have the same number of children. Wow, I think this may be the first time we can say that in a few years.

Zoe is 16 months now and developing quite the personality. She doesn't say many words, but she has learned to communicate. She points at what she wants and screams when she doesn't get it. ( Darin finds my frustration of this at times laughingly familiar to some of his own experiences in marriage - no comment.) Zoe has learned the words "more, no no, shoes, boom, whoa, mama and dada". What else do you really need to say?! She is strutting all over the house, using the fireplace hearths as her own personal dancing stages and going up and down stairs like a champ. Zoe is also torturing her brother by getting in his stuff and laughing as she runs away with it. I'm sure this is just a preview of the many entertaining years we have coming as the battle of the siblings unfolds. Even though Zoe spends a lot of time driving Jackson crazy, they still seem to love each other and play together very well. I am sure that will change also.

Jackson will turn 6 in January and has gone through several male rites of passage at the age of 5. We discovered that his floatie swim suit was too small, so Darin just put him in his trunks and tossed him in the pool. He didn't sink, so life was good. Jackson spent the rest of the summer perfecting his cannon balls and swimming. Jackson and his sister both seem to be fearless when it comes to water…a trait they inherited from their father. Jackson also learned to ride his bike 90 miles an hour without training wheels, so he has been cruising the neighborhood ever since at nerve-racking speeds. He played on his first T-ball team the summer, the Orange Crush…imagine Jackson on a team sporting Illini orange?! Last, but not least, he started Kindergarten this year at Mize Elementary. As expected, he is doing great and loving school. We had our first parent teacher conferences in October. Our son's teacher's first words were "you have quite a character on your hands"…no surprise Jackson loves his teachers and they seem to love him. He just has a lot of energy to waste!

In April, Darin and I took our first vacation since our honeymoon in Italy, seven years ago. We went to Miami and on a cruise and had a blast. We rode horses in the Dominican Republic, hung out at the beaches and shopped in the US and British Virgin Islands and snorkeled and parasailed in the Bahamas. In between all of those things, every day and night we enjoyed lots and lots of Caribbean Rum. The weather was warm, the food to die for and the schedule was incredible (because there wasn't one ) . We did whatever we wanted to do whenever we wanted to do it. I never really understood the true meaning of vacation until after I had children. While I love them and missed them dearly, those 9 days made me feel like I was in my 20s again, except for the fact that I require more sleep now. Anyway, we had so much fun that we have decided to take another adult vacation this year and will be heading to Cancun in January!

After being tortured endlessly last year by my inability to play volleyball or softball , or have a beer now and then due to my pregnancy, my sacrifices were rewarded. Both my volleyball and softball team captured gold medals in this year's Corporate Challenge. H&R Block placed 2nd overall which is our highest finish ever. It was an incredible year with a lot of victory celebrations. It was amazing that we did so well considering that we lost 300 associates in February when positions were eliminated. I am now a department of one and have lost of lot of great friends and coworkers in the last year. Now I am losing a lot of contacts at other companies who do the same kind of work as many community relations positions are being eliminated right now. It's been a tough year for a lot of people. Just ask Darin….

Darin has enjoyed his transition to UBS, which came at the perfect time in his career given the greater economic environment. UBS has proven a much more stable place to practice and grow than where he was before. He has also taken on the challenge of achieving his CFP and is getting certified to teach at his graduate Alma Mater - his professors had submitted his name as someone to look at as an adjunct professor.

Darin has also proven this year how youth is escaping him. In September Darin was thrown over the handlebars of his mountain bike while trail riding a few miles from the house. Thankfully a friend had convinced him just weeks before to begin wearing a helmet as he land head first on a dry creek bed of exposed rock. He believes he blacked out just before his left leg slammed into more stone. What all thought was a broken femur due to tremendous swelling turned out to be just massive contusions. The cat scan also proved he does have a brain, but that it wasn't damaged in the crash - the helmet was a total loss. Darin spent about a week in bed on drugs, walked with a limp for about a month, and walks normally now. The only reminder of his accident is a huge hematoma over his left thigh. The doctor tells him he may have that for close to a year.

Otherwise, we excitedly continue to grow forward as a family experiencing the joy of each other. Team Shank we call it; as we try and develop and nurture good habits for the kids. Darin and I are even finishing up a Love & Logic class through Block to help us with that. Part of the Love & Logic formula involves empowering your kids with responsibility and respecting their opinions as part of your family unit. This is working out in all sorts of unique ways. For years I and the neighbors have ribbed Darin about not having Christmas lights on the outside of the house and only received stubborn laughter in return. This year however Jackson asked his Dad why our house wasn't as pretty as everyone elses; and now we have lights!

So all in all we feel very thankful for all that we have been given and are blessed with the warmth of the Holiday Season. We wish that too for you and yours, our family and friends, in the days and weeks to come. May the Spirit of Christmas find you and embrace you with love.

God Bless & Merry Christmas,

The Shank Family

Side Saddle

2008-06-25T09:04:00.003-05:00

We have discovered a Zoeistic behavior worthy of note of sharing. Now that our young lady has been successfully pulling herself up and trying to climb on everything in site, she has also began to established her preferred sitting arrangement when positioning herself in your arms or against your body.

Zoe likes to sit side saddle with you. Preferably on your arm or your leg, but where she can then put her arm over your shoulder and face the same direction as you. It's an "us" position to put it another way and it makes her very happy. It also doesn't matter if we are in the pool, laying in bed, sitting on the floor, or standing - that's how we get comfortable.

She definitely is a social girl and a born networker. With this type "involved seating" arrangement, she has also begun to mimic the act of talking. Given that she doesn't undersatnd a word anyone is saying, it doesn't appear important to her that we understand her either. But she can make the noises as we do.

The Face of Joy

2008-06-24T14:19:00.003-05:00

Father's Day

2008-06-19T13:08:00.002-05:00

My son filled out the following questionnaire at day care and gave this to me for Father's Day:

My Daddy is 37 years old.
He weighs 500 lbs, and is 8 ft tall.
His hair is blond and his eyes are green.
My Dad loves to relax by laying down in the basement and likes to wear his grey shirt and green hat.
His favorite household chore is washing dishes and watching TV.
His favorite show is basketball. and his favorite song is Rock Band Song.
Daddy always tells me listen to teachers at school.
It makes him happy when I have green days.
When my Dad shops he likes to buy kinds of food like some sausage.
If he could go on a trip he would go to Hawaii and he would take Mom.
I really love it when my Dad buys me transformer toys.

He's the best!!!! I love you Dad!!
By: Jackson June, 2008

Now I love my son, and this was a joy to get. I would however, like to post a loving response to a few things:

I am 37, I do have green eyes. Though I am overweight, I am no where near 500 lbs. Also I am only 6ft 2in (but I look 8ft).

I do wash dishes a lot - to my wife's frustration many times. I actually prefer that to the machine - weird, I know. And the TV watching is done in the kitchen while I am washing dishes, not in addition too.

I do like to do experimental cooking from time to time, which takes me to the store. I also do use that as an excuse to keep us stocked with summer sausage and cheese. Jackson and I have been known to snack together sometimes.

Jackson took this survey during the NBA finals - the only time I watch NBA Basketball. Now Illini basketball; any time, any place...Oskee-Wow-Wow.

Rock Band Song is any rock song on the radio Jackson likes to dance too.

Hawaii? Yeah...., I don't know where that came from? But I would take Michelle.

Finally, its funny how the listening to the teachers and the green days at school kind of go hand in hand.

Jazzoo

2008-06-16T11:27:00.003-05:00

Michelle and I attended Jazzoo on Friday, June 6th. Jazzoo is the annual fundraiser for the Kansas City Zoo. As you can see from the photo, the dress code is called black tie creative. Probably the only time I will get to wear a tuxedo with khaki shorts.

Jazzoo is also "the event" for foodie's in the city. Almost every restaurant in the city has a tasting booth and there are open bars about every 50 yards. As Michelle describes it, "Jazoo is a who's-who in KC letting their hair down and having a lot of fun." It is definitely an evening of excess on the food and drink front, and I had some of the best margarita's I have had in a long, long time.

We attended as guests of the Henry Block foundation. The foundation's president, David Miles, is pictured next to us with his wife.

Thank you Henry!

Zoe's first boyfriend

2008-06-11T10:05:00.007-05:00

Michelle and I had received word from Le Petite that Zoe had a boyfriend and treated it with the usual grace that you give when you hear anything sweet about your children. Then her teachers realling started making a point of mentioning it. Having given them a disposable camera to take pictures of her during the day, we challenged them to show us what they were so excited about on film.

What we had been told was that Zoe and Jacob really enjoyed playing with each other, would comfort each other when the other cried, had a habit of sharing "binkies,"and had just recently begun kissing oneanother.

Well, the pictures didn't dispute what they said. I didn't load all 30 of them onto the site, but I found these as some that would tell the story. I told them this morning that this was actually really great, because now I know what to look for in a few years.

Sadly, Jacob's last day at Le Petite was last Friday. His Mother's work schedule will afford her to be at home over the summer and they are moving. Zoe's teachers were a little worried she would be sad about the whole thing, but she appears to be handling it fine. I can testify that upon seeing the pictures herself, she got very excited and happy.

Another page has turned

2008-06-09T10:32:00.002-05:00

I have no photos for this but I found it worth mentioning.

Jackson had a milestone in his life this weekend. He swam unassisted and without a life jacket for the first time in his life. In his support we spent more time at the pool this weekend than we otherwise might have done and he made the most of it. His biggest success was swimming stairway to stairway in the pool - this is corner to cross-corner along the far length of the pool.

Not to be outdone, Zoe fully embraced pool life as well. She discovered the joy of putting her face in the water, has taken to sailing in her baby boat, and finds splashing to be very exciting. With now 4 upper teeth, she also developed the habit of chewing pieces off of pool toys, but we are working on that one.

Alpha & Omega on the Field of Dreams

2008-06-02T16:11:00.007-05:00

Congratulations go out to Michelle and her Softball Team for winning the gold medal in the KC Corporate Challenge Coed tournament held this past weekend at Mid-America sports complex near our home in Shawnee. This tournament is the culmination of year long preparation and league participation to prepare for "Corporate Challenge." The Block team won out in 6 straight games of this double elimination tournament and never trailed a team in any game. Rock solid defense and 5 very talented women all playing infield positions created the recipe for the perfect tournament. Go blockheads!

Above they are showing why they really play the game. Its all about the after party.

This is my son's first hit in a real game, which was going on at the same time Mommy was winning her tournament. As you can tell from the location of the ball in the shot, Jackson is one of the top hitters on his tee ball team and regularly pushes the ball into the outfield at practice. As you can tell from his stance, his batting coach has been very successful in getting Jackson to keep his back foot planted and step into the pitch. Not bad for 5 years old. (He doesn't even need the tee.)

Jackson is very proud of his Spiderman wrist band and like wearing it to play. He also likes his team name, "Orange Crush," a purely accidental and delightful name for his Illini fanatic father.

Memorial Day Fishing Fun

2008-05-28T20:47:00.009-05:00

Tradition on Memorial Day weekend has been that I, my Father in law, and my two brothers-n-law remove ourselves from the world for a marathon of fishing. We have at times included my brother, some cousins, and the occasional friend, but usually it’s the four of us. This year was Jackson's turn to join the boys for some weekend fun.

Jackson hadn’t quiet got the hang of casting despite some practice in the drive way and I thought I would be doing the casting and he would be doing the reeling on our trip. But in the moment it came together for him, and despite a bit of a slice, Jackson can cast a fishing pole. And it wasn’t but his second cast, as I was walking back to the boat house to get my tackle set-up that he started screaming. He reminded me of one of the women on Oprah who find out the day of the show that the episode they are in the audience for is the “My Favorite Things” show. I had left him at the shore thinking it might take him a few casts and I had some time. I had all my speeches ready as to what to do, how he should just be patient, and it how it might take him awhile and he hit it on the second cast.

Forever in my mind I will never forget the words, “I did it Dad. I did it Dad. There’s a fish on my line – a real fish. Dad come see, a real fish.” And it was a real fish. Jackson caught a Bass that probably only weighed ¾ of a pound. A just-my-size-Bass we called it. But he did it, he really did, and he was excited and having fun.

So then we get the pictures taken, we get him settled down, we name the fish, and we get back to business. I pass Frank on the way back to the boat house and announce that my weekend is complete and we can go home now smiling a proud smile. Not so much as soon as I pick up my pole again to tie a lure on when I hear, “I did it again Dad. I did it again Dad. There’s another fish on my line – a real fish.” And it was another real fish. A Bluegill this time and Jackson reeled him in too.

I am proud to say that I actually managed to get in the game myself before Jackson caught another one. He did this maybe 10 minutes after he caught the second one, also a Bluegill. So at one point a thought goes through my head that my 5 year old has had a 30 minute fishing career and has caught 3 fish on about 10 casts. Not bad. But after the feelings of pride subsided concerns over what did become a sense of expectation issue began to creep into my head. We managed much of that once we got in boats and headed out to work the shore-lines. That is really when Daddy is at his best fishing anyway; so between actively bringing in fish myself, and a new found interest in naval logistics for Jackson, we handled our attention span concerns with relatively good form. We also discovered that lake winds are cold, fish jump out of a live well when given the opportunity, and we should not let the anchor line wrap around our ankle before we throw the anchor in the water.

Luckily I also got to be hero to my son. Daddy hooked the biggest Bass of the weekend. That isn’t saying much given the conditions of the lake. Most fish there never fully develop due to over population. Most of the fish we catch and clean are a little over a pound. This one was only somewhere around 2 ½ pounds, give or take a few ounces either way. But it was the largest live Bass Jackson ever got to see face to face and in his words, “My Dad caught the biggest Bass ever.” I told him between his 3 fish and natural ability to exaggerate a story; he was turning out to be a natural fisherman. This earned me a thumb’s up and a nod from my pal.

Happy Holidays

2008-01-19T09:06:00.000-06:00

Happy Holidays…a little late! Another year has passed and has, once again, been an exciting one for the Shank family

At this time last year, we had settled into the suburban lifestyle quite nicely and were thinking about growing our family. Good thing, as I learned right before the holidays that I was expecting. No egg nog, no softball, no beer…OH NO! My first summer in the new neighborhood with all the parties at the pool and I had to stay alcohol free!

All my sacrifices were rewarded when we gave birth to the first Shank girl in the last few generations of the family. Zoë Noël was born on August 13 weighing 8lbs. and 1oz. Darin is in so much trouble as he has already told Zoë that she earned her college tuition and a red convertible all in her first few months in this world. She has been to several parties and festivals, an out of town wedding and even a couple of happy hours. I am sure we are going to pay for this good behavior later in life, like when she turns 13.

She’s been a great baby! Zoë has only seen the doctor for scheduled appointments. She was up to 15lbs at 4 months. She only fusses when something’s wrong and she is always smiling and happy, except when Jackson is around and then she giggles uncontrollably! Jackson loves his sister seems to be the one person who can make her laugh on a regular basis. They are a great pair and we are looking forward to the years to come.

Jackson is getting smarter every day, which has brought new challenges to our life. He turns 5 in a couple weeks and will start kindergarten in the fall. I am hoping the structure will help him. I think he gets a little bored with preschool. He is a bundle of energy and is very argumentative, which always leads us to repeat those famous words from our parents like “because I said so, that’s why.” He loves the kids in the neighborhood and is also wonderful with his sister. We are sure he will be a great big brother for years to come as he protects her from the forces of evil!

I am getting back into the swing of things at work. The balancing thing isn’t as easy with two kids, but we are working on it. We are in the process of a huge reduction in force at H&R Block. I don’t think my job is in jeopardy, but I have 8 months of severance coming if my position is eliminated. Sometimes things happen for the best, but this kind of thing is never easy when you are going through it. You lose a lot of friends and work is not the happy place it used to be for awhile. Right now it’s just a waiting game, so we will have to see what happens.

Darin has had a stellar year! In early November, he was recruited by UBS. He has a lot more resources and support available to him, which allows him to spend more time working with his clients. It has been a great career move and was the logical next step. He truly enjoys his work and his schedule is a little less hectic, which makes the family happy!

Looking to the future, Darin and I will be taking our first vacation alone together in 7 years. My fabulous husband surprised me with a week long Caribbean cruise to the Dominican Republic, St. Thomas, Tortola and Great Stirrup Cay. I have been lobbying for us to take one for years as I thought it would be the perfect getaway vacation for us. One week alone, away from the office, family and children…I don’t know if we can handle it! But we going to try just for fun and see what happens!

So that about sums up our year. We settled into our new suburban lifestyle, added a new child, Michelle may be unemployed in a month, Darin changed companies and we’re headed to the Caribbean. We really could have done this letter in one paragraph, but what fun would that have been?! Hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and best wishes for safe and happy 2008!

Oktoberfest

2007-09-27T20:27:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was the annual KC Oktoberfest celebration (sponsored by H&R Block). Mommy usually coordinates this event but had a break with maternity leave and turned it over to others. Daddy did his normal stint as a bar tender on Friday and Saturday night in the Warsteiner wagon. Sunday was our day to have the house cleaned, so after church, we went back down to Crown Center and had a family day out. So I thought I would share some pictures.

A rare photo of Mother and son.

The Bier Garten.

We had a moment of insight and let Jackson bring his swimming trunks. On what was arguably one of the last hot days of the year, Jackson got to run through the fountains in Crown Center to cool off. He had a blast!

The people's platz.

The inflatables area.

Fearless.

The Entertainment was a major feature this year.

Jackson loved the Dragon ride.

Helicopter pilot Jackson.

Fear, for the first time. But afterwards, that was "so cool!"

It's all good now.

This is how Zoe experienced the whole day. God Bless her.

Just a few pictures of my family.

2007-08-14T20:45:00.000-05:00

Beautiful, just beautiful.

Dad had to stop by for just one more hug. His girl will be home on Thursday.

Jackson just loves his sister.

The wonder of it all.

It's a Girl!

2007-08-13T12:56:00.000-05:00

I would like to introduce the world to my beautiful daughter, Zoe: Noe:l. She was born today at Shawnee Mission Hospital in Overland Park, KS. She weighs 8lbs, 1 oz. and is 19 inches long.

She is terribly well behaved and already owns her Daddy's heart.

Spencer Jay is on the way, here he comes, & he's ready to play!

2007-08-05T12:26:00.000-05:00

We had a wonderful and relaxing visit from Uncle Aaron, Aunt Alice, and Cousin Spencer over the weekend. On Saturday, most of us took time to relax and spend some time at the pool. Dad on the other hand, held up his committment as Vice President of the KC Swiss Society and volunteered at the annual Bundesfeier Celebration.

Jackson, pictured above, took the opportunity to show his younger cousin how to dive with the assistance of our neighbor, Darren Creeson.

Please check out the Photo Album link for more pictures of our summer time fun.

A Tale of Two Canoe Trips

2007-07-02T19:33:00.001-05:00

Foreword

Dickens wrote, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair…”

The Location

This past Friday Jackson and Dad left for the Ozarks to participate in our church’s fourth annual father and son canoe trip. A local travel agent puts this together. Well over a hundred fathers & sons headed down to Windermere, a faith based retreat and resort grounds about 10 miles north of Camdenton, Missouri. We went tent-in-tow and created what was for many, including Jackson, a first camping experience on the Windermere grounds.

The canoeing took place on the Little Niagua River, which had a launch point near Camdenton, MO.

Friday Night Lights

After a feverish departure from Kansas City we choked in a near late arrival. We got there in time for tent set up and a quick trip to the cafeteria for dinner. After our unpacking we headed off to the pool. Windermere is truly a beautiful place and we were blessed to be able to stay there. The pool was no exception. Jackson loved it because he was safe to explore the majority of the pool without a life jacket. We played some volleyball together with the other boys. Jackson’s interest quickly faded however when he found an abandoned water gun.

Darkness had fallen as we returned to the tent. As we approached Dad sprained his ankle. For those who know me, they know that is not unusual. Many people close to me have seen several of my spills. Years ago I suffered a severe sprain which put me in a wheel chair for a week and then on a cane for some time thereafter. The doctor had told me at the time that over my life I would come to regret not breaking it because I have forever weakened the joint. Bad footing on uneven ground paired with a mind being elsewhere can lead to a painful few hours. Friday was Jackson’s first experience with it at a memorable age and being my only source of help. Needless to say he was very concerned.

The travel group had organized a Smore buffet around a fire for us all. Well timed for me because I could sit, Jackson took some convincing. I could tell he finally got it when he asked if these were the same smores he had seen on “Max & Ruby,” one of his favorite cartoons. Jack is a natural marshmallow roaster. (Constant sword play finally having value?)
With Jack becoming more comfortable with the fire, I felt it time to move on, ankle or not. So we went off for a walk to the marina. We found ourselves on the patio of the snack shop looking out at the water and splitting a basket of nachos. An appetizing combo I realize; smores and nachos, but remember these are boys enjoying their freedom. Regardless of palette, Jackson couldn’t get enough of the nachos. There, over the water, my son and I had some time to talk. What I hope was the first of many. Real context – real words.

Settling in for bed was like opening a birthday present. Jackson was excited. You could see his appreciation of the moment on his face. I don’t think he really believed we were going to stay the night until it was time for bed. I received an extra special hug and kiss that night, with an I-love-you-Dad at the end. Jackson kept looking over and smiling at me, and then sleep took us both.

At 3:25 am I awoke to a call of nature. There were legs flopped over my stomach and a restless boy at my side. I returned to the tent just in time to hear rain begin falling. Quickly I pulled in our towels and shorts from the pool, none of which had even begun to dry. Listening to rain in a tent is one of my favorite aspects to camping. It’s like listening to an orchestra play. It is a secret pleasure. A time when thinking is inspired and dreams are fostered like no other. Nature’s music brought Jackson to a calmer sleep as well. I was in heaven. I don’t know many parents who don’t appreciate watching their children sleep. To have that overlay a very rare pleasure I have always treasured was truly unique.

And…wait…wait…wait…okay...were off!

Rain continued throughout the night and into the morning. The buzz around breakfast was that the float was going to be cancelled because the rain, which has been part of a storm system terrorizing Oklahoma, Kansas, and some parts of Missouri, had gotten the water speed over the threshold by which the tour company would enable inexperienced paddlers on the river. At 8:30, they cancelled the float. At 9:00 a.m., the majority of campers announced they would go fishing for about an hour, and then head back to the KC Metro. At 9:15, the trip was back on. Hmmm?

So we lined up about 40 cars for the ten mile drive to the float companies parking lot. Two hours later, we arrived. The roads we took to get to the other camp were simply jeep trails. Jeep trails cutting through the Ozark Mountains. Our wagon train turned around no less than 3 times. We crossed through several rivers, meandered winding roads, and paint sprayed about 40 cars with red clay. For Dad in the Land Rover, it was a lot of fun, time consuming, but fun. For Jackson, it was a prime opportunity for a nap and so he slept through the whole thing.

After the third turnaround, the Ford Ranger directly in our path had a flat tire. An ugly tear along the side of the tire inflicted by some rocks along the jeep trails. Did I mention something about it raining? So this Dad and 5 others changed a tire. As the jack was useless on a muddy jeep trail (it dug a nice hole in the ground though), Dad and 3 others held up the truck while 2 others changed out the tire with the spare in world record time. Did I mention that I sprained my ankle just hours earlier? I should also mention that after we stopped, Jackson woke up and joined his friend Logan in the back of their suburban to watch a DVD. He did put his head out the window and asked once if it was time to canoe yet? So I know he had some semblance of his surroundings. Perhaps?

And we finally made it to the camp to get our canoes.

The Washing Machine

This Dad prides himself on canoeing in moving water. I have done some stupid things in lakes before trying to fish alone in a canoe, but on moving water I have always done very well. My scouting career has taught me much in this area, I have been on several rivers in southern Missouri, and my scout troop regularly braved the Quincy bay and surrounding waters of the Mississippi under the supervision of a skilled instructor when I was in my teens. I know how to canoe.

Not everyone else on these kinds of trips does know how to handle a boat however, and forgetting that became a critical error in my thinking at one point on the river.

We had been having an easy time of it. The high water from the rains had made things pretty basic. We even pulled off on a small island and Jackson had his first experience of swimming in a river. To which he complained about sand in his aqua socks, but hey he is only 4 so there you go.

We had another canoe we were trying to stay with because the boy Logan, also 4, and Jackson were becoming fast friends. Logan’s Dad does what I see many boaters do in active water: When they loose control of the boat or hit their turn wrong, they prefer to adjust to this by spinning around and going through a spot backwards. This involves back paddling out some into the center of the water flow and then letting the water pull you through backwards. This can be very dangerous, and is usually done by people who think they know what they are doing on low rated water. I liken this maneuver to backing up on the freeway because you overshot your off ramp. You assume that everyone else can just go around you, and that they know what you are thinking. It’s also another good reason why several boats should not to hit fast water at the same time. But the mentality is akin to playing your slice in golf.

Regardless, I have now lost my patience for it, because that is what brought about our crash. Essentially we hit the off ramp right as they were backing up. I could see by the look on Jim’s face he knew he had cut us off. I had to quickly choose between slamming into them or turning wide and slamming into a fallen tree. I chose the tree. That was my second mistake, I should have rammed them. The tree hit the boat like a hand brushing something off a table. Jackson took a smack to the head as we rolled into the water. The water was very deep at that point so we just got pushed under. When we came up the other side, Jackson was screaming which told me he didn’t drown. The boat was full of water but right side up. I grabbed Jack and put him back in the boat, swam along with the boat guiding it, and worked at collecting the paddle and dry bag floating on my other side. My favorite ankle smacked a large rock underneath the water, and that was the only sense of the bottom I had.

We collected on a sand bar about forty yards away. There was a group of other boaters there, many of whom had done the same thing. “You just went through the Washing Machine,” one of the guides told me standing there half elated, “but you did exactly what you should do in a wipe out – great job. I mean, you did exactly what you are supposed to do. You didn’t panic at all.” I could tell by the look on his face he was surprised by this for some reason. I just smiled at him and tried to avoid the impulse of hitting him with the paddle. My son was crying, my ankle hurt, I am soaking wet, Jim had a sheepish look on his face and was trying not to look me in the eye, and this clown wanted to revisit the moment together.

Jim judged my mood and decided to stick to consoling Jackson. I took a quick inventory of the boat and thanked Jesus he made me a Gear Geek. My Sea Line Dry back and the Portage Pack I bought from REI for $10 on clearance paid off in spades (I know an undervalued asset when I see one). After I checked everything and my new friends returned our canoe upright, I went to my son. He had begun calling for his mother and Jim was at a loss. Even my hugs at that point would do, so I pulled out the ultimate weapon. I broken open a bag of M&M’s and gave him a bottle of chocolate milk I had in the cooler. Suddenly, the crying stopped, and was followed by lots of laughter as the other fathers appreciated my quick minded move on my son.

Ode to Eddie Rabbit

The last half to ¾ of a mile of river was blessed with a consistently thick rain. So regardless of our tip over, by the time we got to the pick up point everyone looked as if they had gone into the drink. Even as we waited for the bus to come pick us up and take us up the hill it continued to pour. Jackson and I waited to go up when the bus returned. We loaded up our gear in the back and jumped in. The bus made it about 30 yards up hill when it stalled. That’s 30 yards of a half mile trip. Up hill. Very up hill. We all got off and walked.

The bus was dripping oil and blew smoke like a monster. Yes, a monster, just ask Jackson. It was the evil bus dragon chasing him up the hill, a jeep trail hill no less. Did I mention that I had sprained my ankle just a few hours before? Jackson was so scared he insisted on riding on my shoulders, up hill, to the car, a half mile, in the rain, on my swollen ankle. The bus, God bless it, made it up hill with our gear breathing fire the whole way.

Epilogue

Jim, Logan, Jackson, I, and about 70 other Dad’s and boys decided on Saturday night to return to Kansas City. The four of us went out for dinner first in Camdenton. Jim and I enjoyed a nice surf and turf special while the boys enjoyed corn dogs, fries, and endless laughter. They ran around the restaurant and charmed the snot out of people and we got caught up on Dad stuff.

The fireworks planned for Saturday night had been cancelled due to rain. It rained through dinner. It rained all the way home.

All in all, we had a wonderful time. The weather was crap, the vendors were less than remarkable, but my experiences with my son were priceless. In a way I am glad we had the accident on the water, it gave Jackson a real respect for the river. After our spill each time we met active water, Jackson would turn around and tell me, “Dad…take your time. We are in no hurry. No hurry Dad, take your time.”

Merry Christmas

2006-12-16T10:35:00.000-06:00

Greetings & Happy Holidays!

The Shank family has had a very exciting year with lots of changes in our life. We are all doing very well and looking forward to seeing some of you over the Holidays and reconnecting with those we have not seen in awhile. Hopefully things will settle down enough for us to enjoy some peace this holiday season.

Jackson
It has been a year with many ups and downs as Jackson has begun to exercise both his independence and obsessive compulsive nature. He is constantly informing us of the manner and order in which things should be done and what we should and should not be saying. While the terrible 3s held true for most of the year, Jackson has really turned into a joy to be around these last few months. We are finally able to reason with him…a little, and he actually listens and understands. Now whether or not he obeys or ignores is a whole different issue. We also managed to make our first 2 trips to the ER: one for the 35lb. weight he pulled down on his foot (he was playing on the playground for 3 hours the next day) and one for the 7 stitches he received above his lip when split his face open on a railroad tie at school (as Darin says “chicks dig scars”) Never the less, we enjoy the challenge and can’t imagine our lives without him.

The Move
We put our house on the market in February and sold it in mid-June. Although 5 months is fairly common in today’s housing market, it seemed like forever, especially having to clean up everything everyday. We found a new house out in Shawnee, Kansas in June and moved in August. Our new home has completely changed our lifestyle. Jackson has buddies. He can ride his trike on actual sidewalks. We are 4 houses away from the community pool. Oh, and did I mention that our yard backs up to a bean field? Also, we only had to paint 3 rooms – two bedrooms and a bathroom. With as picky as we are, can you imagine us finding a house that we could not only live with the color scheme, but loved it? Oh, and did I mention the lack of maintenance and attached 3 car garage. I really enjoyed our old house in KC, but this one is really going to give us what we need right now…an easier life. Please feel free to come visit anytime. Our door is always open and there is always food in the fridge.

Darin
What an exciting year! Darin completed his MBA program and graduated in March. That was a huge accomplishment and we are all very proud of him, but also grateful that school is behind us. For the first time in years, Darin is also enjoying his career. He quit his job as a Credit Manager at International Paper on June 1 and has gone into business for himself as a Waddell & Reed Financial Advisor. The family is very happy that he has seemed to find his niche and is enjoying success at the same time…he has been promoted once already to Supervisor and also earned all three Super Starter awards as well as achieved Pacesetter status, which is rare among new advisors. If all goes as planned we should be purchasing our summer home in the islands sometime next year. Seriously, he is doing very well and enjoying every minute of it.

Michelle
I am in my 7th year with H&R Block and 2nd in the Corporate Community Relations Department (the smallest in the company…there are 2 of us). Our new headquarters was completed this year and we moved in September. I have a great view of downtown and all the construction projects of our new entertainment district going up on all four sides of our new building. My corporate softball and volleyball team also received silver medals in the KC Corporate Challenge. I always love the chance to relive those competitive times of my younger years…maybe too much so as I received my first major sports injury this year when I tore a ligament in my thumb playing softball. I had to have surgery to repair and was in a cast for 6 weeks. I have decided not to do that again.

We hope that this has been a great year for you and we hope to see you or hear from you soon. Our new phone number is 913-322-8848. Please give us a call if you are ever in the area. Take care and have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Darin, Michelle & Jackson

Tastes Like Chicken

2006-08-20T22:01:00.000-05:00

This weekend we got a double dose of the big mouse. Two of Jackson's classmates had birthdays at CEC this weekend. One Saturday and one Sunday.

Being as that Jackson's last day at Learn N' Grow was Friday, we had decided that a double dose of his friends as a send off was not a bad idea. So we accepted both invitations.

After the first party, we had a bit of a fit because we put off having cake until there was no more cake. It was quite a disappointment for Mr. Jackson Sloan. He was devastated.

So, for the second party, Jackson made sure he was available for cake. Now, all the children were gathered round the table. They had sung happy birthday, passed out the cake, and all the mouths were quiet and working dilligently on their respective pieces.

It was in that moment of silent jubilation when our Jackson puts down his fork and announces to all in attendance that his piece of cake tastes just like chicken. After I got up from the floor from laughing, the young lady next to Jackson looked crossly at me for being so foolish and agreed that her piece tasted like chicken too. And so agreed the next child, and the next, and so on. The adults heard how the cake tasted like chicken nuggets, no chocolate chicken nuggets, yeah - chocolate chicken nuggets!

Everyone also soon agreed that comments like that is why they will miss Jackson. His charm and personality. We will miss those kids too. Jackson has great friends.

My Announcement

2006-08-02T21:20:00.000-05:00

August 2, 2006

Dear Friends:

I am writing because I wanted to let you, and my other friends and family, know that I decided to begin practicing as a Financial Advisor with Waddell & Reed. After completing all of the licencing requirements, I began practing part-time in April and took on full-time responsibilities just this month.

Now some may be surprised to find me embarking on a financial career, and others may be wondering why it has taken me so long to cultivate this passion of mine. So let me start with a little background on my career. Beginning with my time in Military Intelligence I have always been personally rewarded with opportunities to engage my analytical side. From my experiences growing up in my family’s restaurant business, I have always appreciated the value of entreprenuerial experiences and the opporturtunity that those provide to engage the people you really work for in a personalized, trusting, and fulfilling way. My time in management, corporate finance, and achieving my MBA have given me a well rounded understanding of the business world and how to accomplish great challenges. But it has been my education and experience in personal finance that has always been my true passion. Waddell & Reed has helped me put this all together in a great profession.

So why Waddell & Reed? Waddell & Reed, based in Overland Park, Kansas, has been helping people make the most of their financial future since 1937. A premier financial services company, we are one of the nation’s most enduring mutual fund / financial planning firms. We offer our clients solid financial products, managed by Waddell & Reed investment professionals, within a personal financial plan. This approach, which is the company’s slogan of “Investing with a plan” was very important to me when I made my decision. This approach is something I personally believe in and have seen the benefits take fruit in my own life. As a compliment to this letter, I have included a recent article from Barron’s Magazine referencing Waddell & Reed’s success.

So what does this mean I will be doing? I will be supporting the concepts that Waddell & Reed has built its business on for more than 65 years. Specifically, I am now ready to discuss and implement a financial plan based on the following needs: Retirement Planning, Saving for College, Wealth Accumulation, Investment Planning, Business Planning & Employee Benefits, and Estate Planning Strategies.

As a further compliment to this letter, I have also included information for you to review on the benefits of financial planning. I encourage you to please review this information and consider the benefit it could have in your life. If you realize this as an opportunity that would benefit you and have further questions, if you know someone who has a need for planning services, or if you would just like to receive a copy of our Advisor Newsletter, I can be contacted at 913-491-9202 Ext 123 or on my cell phone at 816-523-8299. I look forward to your call.

Sincerely,

Darin N. Shank
Financial Advisor
Waddell & Reed

Our New House

2006-07-24T20:21:00.000-05:00

Jackson wanted to help Daddy Paint the Garage

2006-05-28T21:11:00.000-05:00

This way, I kept his Mother happy and made sure he didn't get clothes dirty.

If you think this looks bad, you should have seen it before the stitches.

2006-05-17T10:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday afternoon at school Jackson fell onto a railroad tie face first. There was a lot of blood we were told, along with some pretty stressed out teachers. Jackson kept a clear head through the whole thing. There was even a moment, his teacher (Dawn) told us, when she knew he realized the blood that was all over him was his coming from him. Dawn was concerned he might go into shock, but said he stayed focus and kept his head better than the room that was swarming around him.

Jackson went to the Emergency Room after Mom was called in. Dad was called from the hospital. The "gash" was about 1/4 deep, an inch long, and a little over an 1/8 inch wide. My son looked as if he had 2 sets of lips. You could see the fat tissue clearly - it was what protected the structure of his face after the skin gave way.

Jackson maintained his composure in the hospital and through the anesthetic. They soaked gauze in the local and taped it to his face for an hour to numb the area.

The stitches took about 15 minutes and were worst part. For children under a certain age, they use restraints (They look like a spider's meal when there wrapped). We placed Jackson onto a contour board, his hands down to side, and velcro straps wrapped his body. Now, if you could imagine this Kafka-like experience: Your completely restrained in a strange hospital room with your own father holding your hands in place, a strange man has you head held down, you've had your face numbed and the local had gotten into your mouth reaching your tongue, medical cloths get laid all around your head, and out of only one eye all you can do is watch as a strange doctor surgically alters your face.

Yes, he screamed. He begged Dad for release with a voice that will haunt Dad for years. He squirmed and shook and demanded to be let go right now!!!!!!!!!!!! Then we told him he could watch cartoons on the overhead monitor and all he cared about was that Dad's head was in the way. When the switches were finished, he popped out of the restraints, hugged Mom, demanded a piece of gum, and went back to watching cartoons. Then we went home.

Other than that few minutes, Jackson has been fairly oblivious to what has happened to him. Thank the Lord for that. His parents, on the other hand, after putting him to bed and calling family and teachers had a several stiff drinks.

He's going to be a fry cook on Venus

2006-05-15T13:08:00.000-05:00

On Sunday, following our Mother's Day dining festivities, we stopped at the neighborhood Sutherland's store to purchase some whatnot for the yard and to walk around and window shop.

We took a spin through the planting area and passed a bulk display of water wands. These immediately caught Jackson's attention and he went over to check them out. Our son took hold of one just below the nozzle, pulled it towards his face, and yells into it:

Ladies & Gentleman...

Boys and Girls...

Presenting, ...the Circus!

(He then points to the additional customers entering the area. It was a scream.)

Lawn Mowing Ballett

2006-05-11T11:45:00.000-05:00

After helping me mow our yard, Jackson wasn't quite satisfied and decided to help our neighbor (and his friend) Ron finish his yard.

You know your a Redneck when...

2006-05-08T16:37:00.000-05:00

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

As Ward Shank would say, "This is just Bunk."

2006-05-05T09:51:00.000-05:00

NCAA declines appeal on Chief Illiniwek

ASSOCIATED PRESS Friday, Apr. 28 2006

The NCAA's executive committee on Friday rejected an appeal by the University of Illinois to continue using its Chief Illiniwek athletic symbol but removed Bradley from a list of schools with imagery the organization deems "hostile" and "abusive."

The ruling means Illinois will not be allowed to host NCAA championship events unless the school drops its long-debated Indian figure, a fixture at the Urbana-Champaign campus since 1926. School officials criticized the ruling and said they would explore what to do next.

Bradley won its appeal to move off the NCAA's list of schools with banned nicknames. The executive committee noted that Bradley dropped its Indian mascot and logos more than a decade ago and now uses only the generic nickname Braves. The committee also said Bradley has demonstrated its ability to provide an environment of diversity, respect and sportsmanship.

The Peoria school will be placed on an NCAA watch list for five years "to assure that circumstances don't change," according to a written statement from the NCAA. Bradley is the first school in the nation to earn that distinction.

"Bradley University has used the Braves name since 1937 and we are pleased that the many generations of Bradley athletes to come will continue to bear that name, representative of the pride and tradition of our university," Bradley president David Broski said in a written statement.

Illinois officials said the university will review its options regarding the executive committee's ruling, which it says will make it difficult for the school to recruit top student-athletes and coaches.

"By branding an 80-year tradition `hostile and abusive,' the NCAA inappropriately defames generations of Illinoisans and University of Illinois supporters," Illinois board of trustees chairman Lawrence Eppley said in a written statement.

Last fall, the university persuaded the NCAA to drop "Illini" and "Fighting Illini" from its list of banned nicknames, but the university appealed again in January after NCAA said it still found Chief Illiniwek hostile and abusive. Illinois officials called the decision "arbitrary and capricious" and criticized the process by which the policy was created.

The NCAA's executive committee also rejected similar appeals Friday from North Dakota and Indiana University of Pennsylvania. Friday's actions leave seven of the original 18 schools on the offenders list.

Schools such as Florida State, Central Michigan and the University of Utah were quickly removed after officials submitted written documentation from nearby tribes that demonstrated support to continue using their nicknames.

Officials at North Dakota, nicknamed the Fighting Sioux, initially said Thursday they had the support of the two major Sioux tribes to continue using the name -- an assertion later challenged by a tribal chairman. The committee said Friday it gave more credence to the chairman who said the tribal council didn't approve using the name.

Five schools have changed or agreed to change nicknames. Another school, the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, Va., nicknamed The Tribe, has been added to the list after submitting a self-evaluation in October. No decision has been made on that yet.

In the eight months since the NCAA sent the message about what it considered unacceptable American-Indian nicknames, mascots and imagery, nearly all the original 18 listed offenders have filed appeals.

Top 10 ways to know your 3 year old is Obsessive Compulsive

2006-03-14T11:17:00.000-06:00

#10. When pillows must be stacked in a certain order every night before bedtime.

#9. When spots on clothing of any nature means immediate disrobement.

#8. When not driving home the same way every time can lead to a fit.

#7. When not following the proper buckling procedures once in a car can lead to an immeasurable fit.

#6. When one must hum Mmm - m - m - m - m - m continuously while chewing foods you really like.

#5. When hugging and kissing another person follow similar logic and principal as ancient Jewish Law.

#4. When you must duck going under every overpass on the highway to avoid hitting your head.

#3. When the cover over your gas tank cap of your car must always remain open.

#2. When all toilet paper must have the packaging removed and be neatly stacked in the cabinet.

And finally, the #1 reason you know your 3 year old is an obsessive compulsive is when you hear them speak the words, "I am the line leader, step back," when approaching every door.

Jackson Wisdom

2006-02-27T20:28:00.000-06:00

At three years of age, Jackson has started to formulate his view of the world. I thought I would share with you a few of the discoveries he has made so far:

1. Calculators double as remotes. Jackson will become quite adamant about when it is his turn to change the channel and you have the remote and he the calculator. Good slight of hand can deter a huge fit.

2. Dinner is optional. (And depends on the mood.) Prayer before dinner is not however, thank the Lord.

3. Daddy's Walkman, which is a Walkman Sport, velcro's around ones arm for easy of use while running. Jackson has determined that while wearing this he is a superhero and can communicate to all his cartoon friends.

4. Two hats are better than one. Jackson has taken to wearing his old and new Illini baseball hats at the same time. New one over old. Look over feel. Always inseparable.

5. Boxer shorts are better when worn backwards. Life is all about making your own mark. Jackson is very particular about this. He also wants to start wearing both socks on one foot, but I won't let him. This morning I heard the words, "Daddy, can we just try it."

6. There is no sense in doing something if you can't count down from 10 first. Oh and by the way, the next number after 10 is 0.

7. Cartoons are real people.

8. Prayer before bed makes Daddy happy and keeps one up longer.

9. If you put your hands over your ears you can hear the inside of your head. Try it - it works!

10. Jumping is a measure of manhood.

11. Please works really well when you remember to say it.

12. Weight lifting is a great way to go to the doctor. Jackson tried to pick up Daddy's weights and dropped a 35lb plate on his foot. Went to the emergency room. Got x-rays, 2 suckers, 6 stickers, and tons of attention - well worth the pain.

13. Life stops after dark.

14. The best part of going to the bathroom is flushing it all down the drain.

15. Picking out relatives from pictures is cool.

16. Singing at the table while your parents are talking is a great way to draw attention to yourself and irritate your parents.

17. Correcting your parents word choices is a sign of equality.

18. Highway driving lets you see everything in the whole world.

19. If life came down to one food it would be Chocolate Milk.

20. Finally, "Are you silly Jackson?"... "No Dad, I'm nuts!"

I received this from a friend and wanted to share:

2006-02-16T10:15:00.000-06:00

Darin S -

I got a kick out of this, but your wife might find it funny as well (I received if from my wife this morning).

Darin P

There's a quote by an actress who said that she learned so much more about men by having sons. I am a woman who grew up the only child of a tidy, overly-effeminate mother who swears by Clinique. I used to wear dresses with black patent-leather Mary Janes and red bows in my hair.

My boy cousins were messy, farted way too much, ate constantly, ran everywhere and climbed on everything. They were totally alien to me, and that pretty much included what I knew of boys. So when Chris and I discovered that we were expecting, I just assumed that we would have a girl. However, nature thought it would be super hilarious to give me not one, but two little boys.

Not that I don't love my little boys, I adore my sons, I am STUPID in love with them. It was just that I'm a girl. I know all about girl things, like how all little girls love tiaras and tutus. I knew nothing about boys.

Five years later I find myself completely surrounded by men. I am the minority in my household, the only woman. As a result, I've learned a lot. I've learned that farts, apparently, are unbelievably hysterical. I was taught to be embarrassed if my body betrayed me vocally in public, not to hoot about it and yell "Did you hear how loud that was? DID YOU HEAR THAT? Yeah, that was me!" High five!

I've learned that it is completely acceptable in the male world to brag about the size of whatever you deposited into the toilet, as well as walk out of the bathroom and beg for people to come see it, as the little boys do in my house. More high fives! It took one time for me to fall backwards into the toilet at 3 a.m. before I began to look and make sure the seat was down first.

I've learned that two-thirds of the household majority will pass by a dropped object on the floor 4,399,221 times BEFORE stopping to ask what it's doing there instead of picking it up. The one-third stops only because he thinks that it's something to eat and will hurriedly shove it in his mouth before anyone sees him.

I've learned that anything can be made into a gun or a lightsaber. This goes for wooden spoons, clothes hangers, toothbrushes and the tampon from my purse as I was loading groceries onto the conveyor belt. I've learned that boys do not come programmed with fear or a sense for boundaries for the sole purpose of balancing out their mothers' fear for them.

I've learned that you can never have too many Matchbox cars.

I don't think twice anymore about covering my cut finger or scratched arm with a Spider-Man Band-Aid, because they were the ones Chris and Liam thought were the coolest. I've learned that rites of passage are completely different for boys than they are for girls. Standing up to go to the bathroom for the first time is a huge deal.

I've learned that I cannot sit in the floor without being tackled and wrestled to the ground. The floor is the red zone and by sitting on it you are non-verbally consenting to WWF.

I've learned that little boys love to climb, be it the couch, the chair, the bookcase, their beds, the toilets, or into the refrigerator. I've heard that little girls are born with PMS; I've learned that little boys are born with a predilection to throw things and run full-speed down steep hills. I've learned that when a little boy gets a cool toy for a present, the dad is just as excited to play with it as the boy.

I've learned that these characteristics never really go away, even with age, and that having sons gives a dad a chance to relive some of his childhood. Raising sons has caused me to forget how I used to want a daughter. I've learned that boys follow their daddies' examples. Liam regularly tells me, in his spastic munchkin voice, that I "look like a princess" whenever I get ready to go anywhere. He didn't just figure out how to give compliments like that by himself.

I love how he opens doors (or will try) for me and other women. I love how when our entire household tears through the house playing and rough-housing, Liam designates himself as my official protector. "I'LL SAVE YOU MOM!" he'll yell, while throwing his little body in front of mine and pretending to shoot Chris (the designate Bad Alien) with a "laser beam gun." I love playing in dirt now.

Another thing I love, a lesson learned, is that I've made amends with! men (and my history with them) by having sons. I've learned what it is to be a woman. And not to ignore the daddies, because they're just as valuable -- does it ever take a strong woman to raise a man.

Shit

2006-02-04T22:38:00.000-06:00

There is just no other word for it.

And of course it came at just the right time. My brother had sat Jackson Friday night so Michelle and I finally had a night out. I met with my GM600 group earlier today and we wrapped up enough work during our meeting that I could take the rest of the weekend off from school. We have an invite tomorrow to watch the Super Bowl and we will see some friends we haven't had time to see in awhile.

So I thought, hey, we are playing Penn State. At home. Penn State is almost at the bottom of the Big Ten. We have the longest active home winning streak in the nation tied with with Gonzaga and are ranked #6 in the nation. This should be a no brainer. So with my schedule and an easy win I wouldn't have to get emotionally involved in - I take my family to the bar for dinner out and to watch the Illini roll.

I apparently wasn't alone in this idea. With the colder weather and this game getting only regional TV coverage, the place was packed with Illinois fans. We were thankful that we had gotten there early enough to sit as a family in the gameroom and be able to eat.

Jackson was a trooper. He was well behaved throughout the game, played , made many friends and charmed the lot.

For those who saw the game, the Illini lost a game they should have one by 30. Wow, the perfect opportunity for a family event shot in the knee. Arguably though, with another 1/10th of a second, they could have won at the very last moment. The crowded room erupted when the ball went through the basket. It was the Arizona game all over again - faith restored.

When the moment reached reality and the word of the clock worked its way through the crowd I suddenlly couldn't hear anything. The weight of an unimaginable loss was setting in and my eyes froze on the big screen waiting for the official ruling. The deafening silence was broken by my son pulling on my leg. "Dad. That women said Shit. Shit is a bad word. She shouldn't say Shit."

"Yes Jackson, you're right," I replied and picked him up. He was smiling and was exited. He had been having a wonderful time. "Its a bad word and we don't say it anymore."

"The Game is over?"... "We go home home now?"..."Okay, I go get Momma."...and he was off.

You know, maybe it was just fine after all.

Work Recognition Moment #017

2006-02-03T06:14:00.000-06:00

Birthday Boy

2006-01-23T08:49:00.000-06:00

Jackson fulfilled his lifelong dream over the weekend and turned 3 years old. It was a joyous time in which my son fully embraced the spoilage that is his life.

For 3 years old we had 3 parties. He had a party with his friends from school on Saturday morning at Chuck E Cheese, he had a party with the family on Saturday afternoon, and he had a party with our friends on Sunday afternoon. For the family party we decorated the house in full Thomas the Tank Engine splendor and Jackson had Engines everywhere.

At three Jackson has learned the art of opening presents (card first), expressing curiosity as to what the gift could be, exclaiming joy upon discovery of the prize, and holding the item up for pictures and show. All learned behavior and disgustingly decadent, but progress nonetheless. Jackson only had one moment in which he received a gift, didn't want to open any more, and insisted play time should begin immediately.

Thanks to all who came, gave, and shared of their time and Love. It was a wonderful weekend and Jackson will treasure it fondly.

The Arnold Family Curse

2006-01-17T16:51:00.000-06:00

The terror has struck again. The ongoing curse of inviting family to our home for an event has struck again. The curse which in times past has claimed the life of our waterheater, water in the basement, kitchen plumbing, and automobiles reared its ugly head last night.

With the advent of family coming for Jackson's birthday weekend, our heater went out. Did I mention its winter?

Michelle spent the night in the spare bedroom with the space heater and Jackson and I slept under the down comforter. When asked this morning how Jackson liked sleeping with Dad in Mamma & Dadda's bed Jackson replied, "Daddy snored a lot and it scared me!" Oh well, better than being cold I guess.

Turns out a windy night and a backdraft caused the government mandated carbon monoxide circuit breaker to trip "Saving our lives???" and all is okay now. To boot, we even finally got our thermostat to work correctly thanks to our friend and serviceman, J.J. Miller. But we still blame the curse. Timing should never be ignored.

Dinglehopper

2006-01-14T21:16:00.000-06:00

Tonight was a play-dough night. Jackson was more the band leader directing Mom and Dad what to make. Upon our exhaustion with the fun, Jackson took it upon himself to combine all his colors in a blob. He mangle it several times and handed it to Michelle saying, "Here Momma, I made you a Dinglehopper."

Needless to say we rolled with laughter. How our son could think of such a thing remained a mystery until I Googled the word.

In case you are wondering, its what Scuttle the seagull calls a fork. We had no idea at the time and it made for one hilarious moment.

I need a break

2006-01-11T21:00:00.000-06:00

Sorry for not posting in awhile. The life and times of a rock n' roll star can be burdensome from time to time. And if I ever meet a rock n' roll star, I will remind them of that.

But I thought I would just lay out a few of the things we have going on these days.

Michelle has fully transitioned into her new role at H&R Block. She really didn't changes jobs as much as her job evolved into something new. Michelle has now severed her ties with the HR side of her job and grown the PR side. It was a great blessing, as is her relationship with Block. Michelle truly has one of the suitable roles anyone could ever want, and it just got better.

I am in the second to the last of my MBA courses. This is the hardest course to take in the program, its the Business Plan Seminar. My last course will thankfully only be only an elective.

I also joined a group of fellow Christians and started a lunch hour Bible Study group. We meet once a week.

Jackson is about to turn 3 in a few days and he can't wait. He is very excited and looking forward to his party.

We look forward to seeing everyone for the birthday celebration!

Christmas Pictures

2005-12-28T21:27:00.000-06:00

I started loading them in the photo album. Check 'em out! More to come.

Top Ten Things Heard on the Floor at the Busch Braggin Rights Game between Illinois & Missouri

2005-12-22T10:59:00.000-06:00

#10 Norm Stewart repeating that this series should feature a "let me win" rule every few years.

#9 "Brick!"

#8 I thought you were guarding Dee Brown?

#7 Quin Snyder's agent arguing strongly with ESPN to switch to alternate game coverage.

#6 "Hey ref, can we get a running clock?"

#5 No - I thought you were guarding Dee Brown?

#4 What zone are we in?

#3 Pass the popcorn please!

#2 Show Me the baseline!

And finally, the #1 thing heard on the floor of the Busch Braggin Rights game is:

"What can Brown do for you!

Tis the season to be Jolly (or something)

2005-12-20T20:39:00.000-06:00

Here comes Santa Claus

2005-12-17T19:46:00.000-06:00

Is it really winter?

2005-11-13T22:59:00.000-06:00

Saturday was a beautiful day. For those of you who share my opinion that we were robbed of a summer, we should know now that we are getting a second chance. Above is a picture of Jackson swinging in the park, enjoying the breeze running over his face. We had a wonderful weekend of renewal.

Hello Moto

2005-11-06T11:23:00.000-06:00

Thank you dear for my Birthday Present!

49 and Holding

2005-10-27T08:37:00.001-05:00

We recently purchased Jackson a wood-block jigsaw puzzle of the United States. This puzzle will teach Jack all the states, capital, state motto, state bird, and state flower. A lot for a 2 year old we know, but we are optimistic. :)

In playing with his new toy, Jackson put to use his future President skills with an executive edict. The piece of Wyoming has a Buffalo on it and Colorado's empty space has a train in it. Jackson Logic clearly states that buffaloes ride on trains. Its rule 175c if you need to look it up.

So, with Wyoming now clearly warmer and farther south, Colorado has been left to its own devices as to find it new place in our Union. Being a much larger state, and unable to adjust in this new political climate, Colorado has been removed from the United States. And thank the Lord too, because not having Denver in the mix will surely help the Chiefs win the Divisional Championship this year.

Jackson has become so adamant about this point, that he polices the puzzle regularly to insure his will is being enforced. To my obvious error I corrected the puzzle the other night after bed time. The next morning Jackson checked the puzzle within minutes of joining the living, corrected the change, drew it to my attention (actually shaking his finger for emphasis), and flung Colorado onto the floor. "The Buffalo rides the train Dad!"

49 and Holding

2005-10-27T08:37:00.000-05:00

The Adventures of Silly Bean

2005-10-22T12:25:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to post this picture before anything else to thank Norma & Randy for their gift of the Georgia Scrubs. These were really cute and we love them.

So now, the Adventures of Silly Bean. Well, I'm sure you can guess who Silly Bean is on the first try so we won't go into that. But some of his anticts have been classics this week so I thought I would share.
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The other day, Daddy & Jackson were left to their own demise for dinner and went to the grocery store together to gather what they needed for their "picnic" at home. Those of you with experience may begin laughing now.

Yes, Jackson wanted one of everything, and still wanted to carry the basket? Jackson also quickly learned the lingo of grocery store life. After denying him the occasional whatnot, he would repeat back to me, "No Daddy, we already have one of those at home," and reshelved my next selection? So when I convinced Jack that life would be better if I carried everything, he took that opportunity to release his magic unto the whole store.

Jack immediately seizing upon a yellow squash, which he used for what he calls his "pew-pew." For the neophytes in the audience, a pew-pew is something our little terrorist picked up from watching action movies. Yes, sad and true, but a fact of life nonetheless. With his rifle in hand, our little soldier proceed to go on a search and destroy mission throughout the produce department. He maneuvered himself with stealth-like precision from island to island picking off unsuspecting shoppers who struggled with great effort to pretend nothing was happening. In the end they lost on both fronts.
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Friday night Silly Bean had an uber-moment. After a wonderful evening of football and friendship Jackson and I stopped off on our way home to check on Momma after her season ending Softball game. They were tailgating in celebration of their split decision for one last hoorah.

Michelle has mastered the multi-functionality of "the blanket" as part of her tailgating skills. Not only does it provide comfort for the weary player who wants to sit it the parking lot, but it also provides excellent cover for the bladder weary female searching for relief of beer consumption. (Finally a reason for women to go two at a time?)

Well, in the middle of play with other kids, Jackson notices Mommy on screen duty for her girl-friend and goes running over to find out what is going on. The group of us immediately start laughing in anticipation.

When Jackson gets there, he looks behind the screen, appraises the situation, and immediately starts taking off his clothes to join in the fun. Michelle, who can't stop what she is doing without sacrificing the innocence of her friend, cries out for back-up. To which I of course yell back "hell no," because I thought this to be way to funny. So Jackson then, careless of any blanket, lets it fly for the whole world to see and draws the attention of all in the parking lot as to what is going on. It was a roar.
_________________________________

Finally, Doctor Shank (the Bull Dog scrubs) is sitting here with me as I post this piece. He has decided to get in the mood and play doctor. Yes I am the patient, and the tape dispenser on my desk is an endless supply of band-aids. Thankfully, our little doctor has covered the several dozen boo-boos on my face with the necessary number of band-aids so I will be okay. Thank God they didn't send a barber's smock! :)

Balance

2005-10-15T20:50:00.000-05:00

Friday was the "Bumblebees" class trip to the pumpkin patch, and as I indicated in the previous post Michelle and I went along as chaperones.

Jackson was terribly well behaved an had a wonderful time. The event was at the Deanna Rose Children's Farmstead (http://www.opprf.org/Farm.htm). I have loaded pictures of Jackson's adventures in the Photo Album for you to see. It was a beautiful day and we enjoyed it as much as he did.

The funniest part of the day was on our way back to school. As chaperones we took Jackson's other car seat and another child with us. Ashton is new to Jackson's class and was very quiet. He and Jackson split a Granola Bar to finish their lunches. Ashton fell asleep on the way back to school with his head cocked back, mouth open, and a grip of life on the Granola bar. We couldn't decide if he looked more like a lounge singer frozen on the last note of a song with the granola bar as his microphone, or the Statue of Liberty. Regardless, it was a funny site.

__________________________________________________________

Note on Dad. Darin's team took 1st place in the annual xpedx employee golf tournament at Teetering Rocks Golf Course. Darin contributed primarily with his iron work and putting. He hit 18 & 25 foot puts to save par on two holes and sunk a 12 footer for birdie on 17 to give our team a final score of 3 under overall. We each won a $50 Dick's Sporting Good's gift card. It was another beautiful day and we had a lot of fun.

The Terrible Two's

2005-10-13T09:13:00.000-05:00

I apologize for the delay in posting. I have been working on a research paper that was due for my Economics Class last night. We had a very busy weekend an when we got back I needed Sunday to rest, and Monday and Tuesday to work on the paper.

Some of you know by now from phone conversations that we are experiencing the terrible two’s right now at full throttle, and Saturday was a rancor day in the life of our child. We had been planning this day for awhile. As former residents of Omaha, NE, we had always vowed to bring Jackson back to visit the Zoo. Omaha, for all else you can say about it, has arguably one of the top 5 zoos in North America. (Remember Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom?)

So we booked a hotel in the Downtown / Old Market area and headed off on the 3 hour trip from Kansas City to the big O Saturday morning. We were in the zoo parking lot when Jackson started to turn ugly, and were walking out of the zoo in total disgust and embarrassment at right at 1 hour. I will not entertain you with an articulation of his behavior, but suffice it to say we were those parents you occasionally pity in public places who are struggling to contain a wrathful child.

So back to the hotel. We were very thankful we had booked through Priceline and gotten it for a song. We used what was probably one of the most beautiful days we could have asked for to watch the Georgia Football game and take a family nap in a hotel room. By the way, hotel bathrooms are ideal for timeouts.

Feeling brave, determined, and stupid we then took Jackson down to the Old Market for dinner. After walking all around the Old Market, we ate at the Up Stream Brewery. As part of his abnormally strange behavior, Jackson was a perfect gentleman at the restaurant and allowed his parents to have their first meal out in sometime. Technically, it was our first family dinner out (just the 3 of us) since Jackson was an infant.

The night at the hotel was hell. Jackson took forever to go to bed. Then at 2:30 a.m. he awoke in a fit, barreled his way out of bed, crawled under the drapes, and yelled at us at how we wasn’t doing to sleep in the bed. We didn’t argue with him. But after 30 minutes of us being scared we would be kicked out of the hotel from his tantrums, he finally quieted down and spent the rest of the night on the floor.

Sunday morning was another interesting performance. It took awhile to convince Jackson that the only way to get food was to leave the hotel room. But when we did eat down in the hotel restaurant, he was well behaved and even entertained all there with a toddler’s rendition of “Monster Mash.”

Thank the Lord Jesus; he slept for 2 of the 3 hours back to Kansas City. We made the most of an opportunity to literally drive down memory lane for Darin, grabbed some Runza’s to go, and then headed home.

Sunday afternoon we had our first event with the Kansas City Swiss Society (August 25th post). As parents we were more concerned our little terrorist would blow up the place than the impression we would make on the group. But again, Jackson was wonderful. He absolutely charmed the lot. He played well with the other kids, was respectful to the adults, and except for the ten minutes it took us at one point to convince him that taking off his clothes was not a good idea, he was well behaved.

Jackson’s behavior has been tyrannical for about 2 weeks now and we can’t wait till he passes through this. We realize that could be when he graduates high school, but we are hoping for age 4. Jackson regularly gets put into timeout at school now and we receive bad reports at pick up time with his behavior. He even kicked a young girl in the face this week for reasons no one could infer; just walked over to her when she was trying to stand and kicked her. If you Quincyians don’t see us at Thanksgiving, know it is because we are trying to contain the menace.

This Friday is Jackson’s annual school trip to the pumpkin patch. Michelle and I both are going as chaperons just in case. We’ve also moved Jackson’s bedtime down to 8pm from 9pm. With this I wait to study until after bedtime and we both are there and involved with him. We are hoping these changes give him more sleep and structure. Pray for us please.

We did take our new camera with us over the weekend. Michelle ruined her Christmas surprise by reading the American Express bill for the first time ever. Later tonight I will load pictures from the Zoo and Schutzenfest in the Photo Album for all to see.

Land Rover

2005-10-01T09:19:00.000-05:00

My GMC Sierra is gone. Filling a large gas tank with expensive gas just to drive to work everyday is gone. The dent in the quarter panel and the cracked windshield are gone. The limited ability to carry multiple passengers is gone. The truck that I absolutely loved driving is gone. My ability to haul dirt, stone, and whatever else I need is gone. My son's so loved "Big Truck" and my wife's constant source of bitching material is gone.

And now we have:

This is are new (to us) Land Rover Freelander SE. It was Motor Trend's Sport Utility Vehicle of the year in this model year, 2002. We picked it up with just 38,000 miles on it

Everything is this truck is automatic except the seats, which are heated. Even the cup holders are automatic. It is a 6 cylinder and gets much better gas mileage than the Sierra. The Land Rover also comes with All Wheel Drive and the ability to change back and forth from a manual transmission to a stick. I was told this is a common feature in British made cars?

Of course we had to get all leather. The Sierra taught us quickly about leather and kids. I told the salesman not to even show me cloth unless he could guarantee us an aftermarket option. Everything you need to control this vehicle is at the fingertips of the driver. Its a lot of fun to drive. The Land Rover seats 5. I can even sit comfortably in the back seat (that was another test of the cars I looked at).

Finally, I just think it looks cool. So does Michelle, who now is already talking about borrowing my car. Hmmm?

But the best part of this vehicle is - Its an import that came with a 5 year / 60,000 mile warranty starting at current miles. That means I have a full warranty up to 98,000 miles on this puppy. We bought this at CARMAX. I couldn't believe the deal I got. They were the last place I went on my car shopping marathon, and they will be the first place I go next time. They even paid my taxes and requested my tags for me.

2005-09-26T22:09:00.000-05:00

Well another year has past and another Oktoberfest has come and gone. The holiday I love for many reasons. Also the holiday I was trying find a way to celebrate myself, at my home, when my wife's company and the Economic Development Corporation of Kansas City went and did it for me on a large scale.

Then there was this year. This year I got to be a Bar Tender. (Insert your own devilish laughter here.)

Did I mention I was a bartender at the Warsteiner Wagon. The beer I love and drink all the time. Did I also mention that they let us drink beer while we worked. Did I mention that I got a free stein and a shirt. Finally, did I mention this was like a flashback to when Norm from Cheers got hired as a beer taster. There was just something very wrong, yet oh so right with it happening.

And yes, as someone fond of all things Germanic, I pontificated on high to my inebriated congregation in butchered Germanglish on my opinions about how great this all was and how thankful they should be to drink of something so great.

My typical response when asked what kind of Beer we served: "We have all 3 kinds - Great, Even Better, and Outstanding! Which one can I get you?"

My typical response when asked what we served that tastes like Bud light: "Not a God-damn thing."

Yeah...I had fun.

That was painful...

2005-09-25T10:49:00.000-05:00

61 to 14. At home. Ouch.

There is not much to say here other than be captain obvious - Tackling involves more than just hitting someone hard. But I wonder why players on the field are so slow in adjusting to what appears so obvious to those watching a game from the stands? Furthermore, I wonder why teams continue to fail at this when it has been proven over and over again by many teams throughout football history that you must wrap people up?

100 Bottles of Tears on the Wall

2005-09-23T08:07:00.000-05:00

Well the Kansas City Royals capped 100 yesterday in the 11-6 loss to the Royals. After fighting to save what is left of their pride with a 4 game win streak holding at 99 losses, the Royals finally broke in the face of actual talent.

The only thing I can say is thank God its Football season. I can only imagine, but I would bet the Royals feel the same way.

Pockets

2005-09-22T08:04:00.000-05:00

My son's latest discovery is his pockets. Jackson has come to realize how useful pockets can be for carrying things. More precisely, and as Jackson refers to them, "My Favorite Things." As all kids do, Jackson carries around as many things as he can as he traverses the house, sometimes even asking Mom and Dad to assist in the heavy load.

The other day we had another oops incident where we didn't make the toilet in time. So as my son stood before me with rigor mortis so as to not upset the apple cart so to speak, he let me peel him down to the mess. When I got to his pants I started to unload the pockets. This lead to an interesting parental moment as I quickly found things I had never seen before.

Our smart little boy has discovered you can keep small toys there that are near and dear to you and that you wish others would not play with, as well as interesting little trinkets we find exploring our world.

Looks like we will have to start patting him down before we leave places in the future.

Work Recognition Moment #045

2005-09-21T08:19:00.000-05:00

Grandma & Booper go to the Zoo

2005-09-19T06:47:00.000-05:00

This past weekend we fulfilled a long awaited commitment to my Mom and took her to the Zoo. As Friends of the Zoo we take Jackson to the Zoo about once a month. This time we made sure we timed it with Mom's visit. She knows how much Jackson loves animals and wanted to enjoy his appreciation first hand. Thankfully, Jackson was in wonderful form. I hold told him we wanted him to be Grandma's Tour guide, and he didn't disappoint.

The Kansas City Zoo is broken into sections of global geography and we went to "Africa," which is Jackson's favorite part. (This is where the lions are.)

We also caught the Sea Lion show, saw the White Tiger, hung out with the goats, and had a picnic. (Pictures are in the Photo Album.)
Underfortunately, the pony rides were shut down for the year otherwise we would have done that too. But honestly, we couldn't have picked a better weekend weather wise, it was simply beautiful.

It was nice to have Mom around for the weekend. With our busy lives we always seem to struggle to stay close to the ones we love.

Thank you Mom for coming and spending time with us and thank you for spoiling our son some more. Mom bought Jackson this sweatsuit, a pair of Thomas the Tank Engine shoes, and more trucks and cars. All were really great.

Work Recognition Moment #389

2005-09-16T08:33:00.000-05:00

Good thoughts on the Illini

2005-09-15T12:36:00.000-05:00

Illini hope Cal's fortunes will trickle down their wayBy Stu Durando
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
09/14/2005

CHAMPAIGN, Ill. — The residue of a disastrous season lingered when Jeff Tedford accepted the task of cleaning up a sagging football program at California in 2002. The first-year coach immediately generated excitement by coaching the Bears to a pair of season-opening wins. But traveling halfway across the country for a subsequent meeting with No. 15 Michigan State figured to offer a dose of reality. Instead, Cal continued its resurgence with a 46-22 win, and the Bears have yet to slow down. Four years into Tedford's tenure in Berkeley, Calif., Cal is 27-13 and has become a threat to USC's Pac-10 dominance. Illinois hopes to repeat that formula this weekend. The Illini have some confidence with two wins for coach Ron Zook as they head west to face No. 15 California on Saturday.

The Bears were 1-10 the season before Tedford arrived and 8-25 in the previous three years. The Illini were 3-8 before Zook was hired and 9-26 the previous three years. "I do see some similarities there," Tedford said. "I was thinking about that: a new coach, you go 2-0 and then go on the road to play a top 20 team. We're going to have to play our best to not let that happen because they are playing well." But can Zook match Tedford, who went 7-5 in his first year? Can quarterback Tim Brasic perform like Kyle Boller? Could the Illini become bowl-worthy just like that?

Zook was blunt in saying the Illini are not necessarily ready to face a team the caliber of California, which won its first two games by a combined score of 97-20. Nor is he ready to predict as quick a turnaround after wins over Rutgers and San Jose State. "We feel like we have made some strides," Zook said. "In the spring and summer, one of the concerns I had was changing the mind-set. We always talk about how winning is a habit, but unfortunately, so is losing. How do you continually press and force and push them to believe? ... I have to believe that some of it is getting through." Tedford did inherit some exceptional talent from predecessor Tom Holmoe. Boller was on campus, as were the players who led the team in rushing, touchdown receptions and sacks in Tedford's first season.

The Bears got off to a fast start and continued to win despite the likelihood that they wouldn't be able to play in a bowl because of previous NCAA sanctions. They beat bowl-bound Washington, UCLA and Arizona State in 2002, but their NCAA appeal to play in a bowl was denied. "After going 1-10 the year before, the guys were just very eager to have success, bowl game or no bowl game," Tedford said. "When we couldn't go, our last game against Stanford was our bowl game." Illinois has seen both sides of the Cal program. In 2001, the Illini pounded the Bears 44-17 in Berkeley on their way to the Sugar Bowl. In 2003, Cal edged Illinois 31-24 in Champaign as the programs went different directions.

"I remember when they came into our place and beat us in that close game," Illinois offensive tackle JJ Simmons said. "You could see them go up and us go down. You can definitely see a program like that get better, and it helps us knowing that we can do it, too. If they can do it, we can do it." Cal's rise has been among the most impressive in college football.

Last year, the Bears threatened to win a national championship. However, a six-point loss to eventual champ Southern California knocked the Bears out of the Bowl Championship Series. Texas made a late run to overtake Cal in the BCS standings and went to the Rose Bowl. Although the Bears were No. 5 in the final BCS standings, Utah received the final BCS bowl berth because of a rules technicality. So, Cal will try again. Getting there would involve beating USC, which has won two of their last three meetings - 23-17 in 2004 and 30-28 in 2002. Cal won 34-31 in three overtimes in 2003. "We've played them fairly well in the past, but there's no question they're an elite program," Tedford said. "If we reach our full potential, maybe. But they're still the elite program in the West." sdurando@post-dispatch.com 314-340-8232

Work Recognition Moment #712

2005-09-13T15:50:00.000-05:00

Weekend Update

2005-09-12T13:02:00.000-05:00

First off, congratulations to the Illini on going 2-0 so far in this year. I realize it was non-conference and San Jose State is no Goliath, but this team needs to build on some success. I am very excited to see the kind of numbers they put up as well as the fact that this coach can change off his game when he is up against a team that thinks they have figured him out.

Second and most important, we were blessed this weekend to have my brother and his friend come visit us. We have been hoping for some time to meet and spend time with Valerie. With everyone's schedule this has been tough. This weekend we finally made it work and had a wonderful relaxing weekend. Valerie is a wonderful girl and Jackson really appreciated having Uncle Keiff around to play with.

We are also proud that we were able to arrange an on-site visit for Keith to meet with someone and see St. Paul's. Keith is considering entering their Master's of Divinity Program and spent Sunday on the campus before heading back to St. Louis.

Finally, last week I said that I would be running on the field after the Rutgers game. Well from a picture I found on Illinois Loyalty's website, it looks like I wouldn't have been alone.

Labor Day Fun

2005-09-06T09:50:00.000-05:00

We kept up our semi-annual tradition of male looser behavior this weekend at Camp Saukenauk: Fished most of the day, ate steaks and fried fish, then smoked cigars under the stars, and played cards all night long. We are going on 3 years of this now if memory serves. Each Memorial Day and Labor Day. This is to change however with the advent of aging children. Going forward, we have resolved to include the wives and children more and we are moving the fall time to October to reduce conflicts.

The fishing was horrible this year though. Typically on a 3 day weekend each of us will pull out 50 plus fish. I think I only caught around 20 for the whole weekend. The largest fish went to a first timer who came out Saturday for just the afternoon and dinner - congratulations Dan on your 6 lb bass.

Saturday afternoon I came into town and met Michelle at a sports bar to watch the Illinois Football game. If you haven't heard the news, Illinois pulled off a monumental 4th quarter come back to tie with an overtime win. The game tied the school record for largest deficit comeback resulting in a win. Congratulations to Coach Zook and the Illini for a wonderful season opener.

Watching the game for me took me back to a come back win we had over Minnesota my Junior Year. This was a game that mattered only to the Illini faithful. A game that gives us hope. After the the game against Minnesota, yours truly was doing baseball slides into the inzone through the snow. Had I been at the stadium for the Rutgers game, I probably would be on the field again.

Coach Zook was prophetically quoted before the game as saying he knew bad things would happen and that they should be judged on how they play when those things occur. Well, maybe it was the new coach, maybe it was inspiration derived from the basketball team, or maybe it was drawing on the record setting attendance of over 52,000 people with a new sense of expectation; but regardless - they faced adversity with the poise needed to win the game.

Personally, I like to think of this game as being a microcosm of what is to come: embarrassment changing into heroism. From the first quarter to the fourth quarter, let that be the story of last year to this year. Bring on the change, bring on the pride, and bring on the Illini!

On Sunday we made a brief appearance at the Hoffman Family reunion (Michelle's Grandmother). Jackson enjoyed playing in the park and made friends with a caterpillar. We also taught him that to get Grandpa's attention he should go up and swat him in the butt. That lead to a lot of laughs.

After the reunion, we spent some long overdue time with my Mom. We spent the evening with her and had dinner. We also took the opportunity to call my Uncle George whom we miss dearly as well. Family is the water we renew ourselves with in the well of life.

All in all, we had a great time and hope you did too.

Lord hear our prayer

2005-09-01T12:58:00.000-05:00

There is nothing we could add which would further inform anyone as to the level of tragedy that is occurring on the gulf coast.

We, as like many of you, tremble at the sight of what we see and hear on a daily basis. We stand in shock that such things are occurring with such proximity. We as a nation, see ourselves as the givers and not the needy.

Though there is not much we can physically do to assist in the daily needs of these people, we pray each night as a family for those trapped in this plight and we wanted to take this opportunity to do so with you here:

Father,

We pray for those afflicted by the tragedies of the hurricane.

We pray for those who's lives were sustained by technology which can no longer power it self.

We pray for the babies born into this horror with no post-natal care.

We pray for the elderly whose strength tires without such tragedy.

We pray you care for those who will die alone and without comfort.

We pray for the hero's of this tragedy and what they give up daily in reaching out to others.

We pray for this strength to head the warnings of this event and use it orient the future of our lives.

We pray for the weak.

We pray for the strong.

We pray for our country.

We pray for our world.

In your son's name Jesus Christ we pray,

Amen.

Yard Update

2005-08-31T08:53:00.000-05:00

These photos are of the latest yard improvements we have made on our ever eternal quest at beautifying the ugly. Our goal is to have a low maintenance landscaped yard that will increase our property value.

This is our most recent addition. This corner has been the eye sore of the front yard since we moved in. First we had mud, then city construction in the street ruined any hope of growing something here, and then there was a failed attempt at this without the wall and using mulch that was a horrible failure. So, I excavated this down to where it was level, built the retaining wall, and filled it in with rock. In addition to the soil damage, this spot gets direct sun all day and falls outside the reach of my sprinkler. So this is an abandonment of any hope of growing something, and the rock over plastic on clay will hopefully keep out any weeds. Although there will be something I'm sure.

This side of the garage is done until Spring. I removed the window from the garage, reframed it and boarded it in with 3/4 inch plywood. The lattuce work will support a climbing vine we plan to plant early next Spring, and we are open to suggestions there so comment if you have one. The day lillies and wild grasses planted along the side are thin due to 14 straight days of rain and late planting. There is also a small bush on the left which flowers in the winter.

This photo is another reason why I am pissed we have had 4 straight weeks of upper 90 degree weather followed by 14 straight days of rain!

Don't Make a Mess Dad

2005-08-30T07:52:00.000-05:00

It is custom in our house that I am the first one up. I shower, get dressed, and then go get my son ready while my wife is preparing herself for the day. She then takes him to school.

This morning I was not alone in my morning ritual. My suspicions first came when I thought I heard little footsteps as I was getting my coffee. Then confirmation came when I was shaving and spotted two bright eyes peering at me out of the darkness of the hallway.

After exchanging morning pleasantness my son agreed to only join me in the bathroom if it was understood he would not be taking a shower too. Contract in hand the Energizer Bunny hopped into my day, handed me his diaper - which he had been carrying with him from a previous adventure, and proceeded with his customary assault of questions relating to whatever you are doing at the time.

We finally agreed that it was time for Daddy's shower and that Jackson would watch from the toilet seat where he would remain standing. I mention this purely for the understanding that in order for us to maintain our dialogue, and Jackson his toddler security, one of the two shower door panels must be left open while you are showering. (oh what fun!)

And as might be expected, as I was soaping down my girth some bubbles flung forth from the lufa and landed on the floor. This instantly became a moment of opportunity for my son who leapt down onto the floor - looked at the "bubbles," looked at me, and then looked back at the floor.

"You spilled bubbles Dad. You spilled bubbles on the floor Dad. You made a mess. Messes on the floor are bad. You shouldn't make messes on the floor Dad. You shouldn't spill bubbles on the floor Dad. You made a mess."

Oh well you know, so I just played along. "Yes son, you're right. Dad made a mess and that was bad."

Johnny on the spot Jackson then grabs the toilet bowl brush and says, "I'll clean it up for you this time Dad, but no spill bubbles on the floor okay. Okay Dad!" (Where does he hear this stuff?)

"Yes Jackson."

Jackson then proceeded to make sure the floor was bubble free. After which he turned to me in the shower and gave me his best smile saying,"Doesn't that feel better now Dad. Doesn't it feel better?"

The Greatest Show on Earth

2005-08-27T09:20:00.000-05:00

Last night we took Jackson to the Circus. Ringling Bros / Barnum & Bailey is in town at Kemper Arena through the weekend and Michelle got us some great seats through Block. (http://www.ringling.com) We were 7 rows off the show floor right on the aisle.

I hadn't been to the circus in 15 years and Michelle couldn't remember when she last went. But I have to tell you they are right when they say it is the greatest show on earth. It would be pretty hard to dispute that, and if there is something better, I would like to see it.

Jackson loved the animals and boy were their a lot of them. Elephants, horses, lions, cows, pigs, goats, lamas, sheep dogs, shetland ponies, and more. The elephants were, of course, Jackson's favorite. The Lions were kind of a dud, and they listened to the lion tamer about as well as my wife listens to me.

I think I am safe in saying that Michelle's favorite part of the show was the high wire guys. Specifically though, an act I don't know the name of. The act is based on the principal of counter balance. A man runs around in a circle that is attached to a frame the shape of an exclamation point with a weight on the other end. Then by his own weight affecting the balance of the frame, the frame spun in a circle itself. The guy ran around inside the circle, outside the circle (no net at all and while the frame was moving!), jumped rope on the outside, and did flips over himself to stay even with the increasing speed of the rotating frame. It was a sight.

My favorite bit was a clown show that took place entirely upside down from the roof. A wood floor was suspend from the ariel lattice work above the show. The tent the clowns came out of was upside down, the table their stuff was on was upside down, and they were upside down. They bounced balls off the floor, played catch, juggled, and more. The magical part of it all was that the only time objects appeared to be subject to the laws of gravity were when they were passed between the 2 clowns. Everything stayed on the table just fine or in place just fine. The illusion was complete.

We all had a wonderful time, and Jackson was terribly well behaved. Jackson even had a A+ pottie report. He ate popcorn and drank bottled water at the show. Twice during the show he told me he had to go to the bathroom. We got up, walked out to the men's room, and he handled it like a champion going all by himself at the junior urinal. We were very proud of him.

Quiz

2005-08-26T08:17:00.000-05:00

Think you're pretty smart? See how many of these you get correct:

These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with
straight answers.

Questions
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the
participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving
backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own
for several growing seasons. All other v egetables must be
replanted every year. What are the only two perennial
vegetables?

4. Name the only sport in which the ball is always in possession
of the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without
touching the ball?

5. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

6. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real
pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle
is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get
inside the bottle?

7. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters
"dw" and they are all common words. Name two of them.

8. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you
name at least half of them?

9. Where are the lakes that are referred to in the Los Angeles
Lakers?

10. There are 7 ways a baseball player can legally reach first base
without getting a hit. Taking a base on balls (a wal! k ) is one way.
Name the other 6.

11. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen,
canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

12. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet
beginning with the letter "S."

------------------------------------------------------------------

Answers To Quiz:
1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the
participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends . .
. boxing

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward . . .
Niagara Falls (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet
each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush
over it every minute.)

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for
several growing seasons . . . asparagus and rhubarb.
4. The only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the
team on defense, and the offensive te! am can score wit hout
touching the ball . . . baseball.

5. The fruit with its seeds on the outside . . strawberry.

6. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside
the bottle. (The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are
small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in
place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe,
they are snipped off at the stems.)
7. Three English words beginning with dw . dwarf, dwell and
dwindle.

8. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar . . . period,
comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question
mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis,
braces, and ellipses.

9. The original lakes referred to in Lakers . . . in Minnesota.
(The team was originally known as the Minneapolis Lakers, and
kept the name when they moved west.)

10. Seven ways a baseball player can legally reach fi! rst base without getting a hit . . . taking a base on balls (a walk) . . .
batter hit by a pitch, passed ball, catcher interference, catcher
drops third strike, fielder's choice, and being designated as a
pinch-runner.

11. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned,
processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh . lettuce.

12. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with
"s" . . . shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates,
snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

Swiss Flag Bearer

2005-08-25T08:30:00.000-05:00

Last week we received a letter in the mail which stated the following:

Dear Swiss Flag Bearer,

While driving north on Holmes Road yesterday I saw the Swiss flag flying from what seemed to be the back entrance of your residence. As an officer of The Kansas City Swiss Society I was interested to know your connection to Switzerland and to know if you have been a member of our group or would be interested in learning more? I checked our membership roster and did not find your address.

If you are interested you might call or write and I would be happy to tell you about our organization of Swiss and Swiss related people. By the way, our website is http://www.kcswiss.org.

Sincerely,

The Kansas City Swiss Society

So we are going to check these folks out on October 9th. The society owns 9 acres in eastern Kansas City. They have what they call their "chalet" on this property which is also where they have their gatherings? From talking to them on the phone it sounds like they are a social club which strives to maintain a cultural awareness.

If nothing else, this stands as an example of what being a geek in public can get you.

Another One Bites the Dust

2005-08-24T07:55:00.000-05:00

FI515 came to an end last night with the final exam. As Michelle keeps happily reminding me - just 4 more classes left and I am finished with my MBA program. April 2006 here we come!

Sleepy Head

2005-08-23T08:01:00.000-05:00

Well, there are many firsts in both a child's and parent's life and this morning I heard another one. I walked upstairs to get Jackson dressed, turned on the light, and a groggy voice from beneath the sheets uttered, "No, Dadda. I no want to go school today."

Chief's Fan

2005-08-21T13:37:00.000-05:00

Saturday night week took Jackson to his first NFL Football game. Michelle was given some tickets as a thank you by a fellow employee that won them at the company picnic. We would never have been eligible for these because of her position, and a friend of her wanted to thank Michelle for all she had done for her in the past. So this woman gave up her tickets so we could go.

Section 135 is about at the 35 yard line, and Row 41 is the last field level seat available. Anything in Arrowhead on field level gives you an excellent view. Actually, just about every seat in Arrowhead gives you an excellent view. I felt this was important because in taking a child to a sporting event the first time you want them to be able to see it without effort. This is important because if they can't see it - they won't maintain interest - and at that point its a lost cause on several fronts and you sink into a parental hell.

So when Michelle told me we had these seats, I started pushing the idea of taking Jackson and making this a family thing. As it turns out, this was a great idea. Jackson had a wonderful time and was the hit of the seating section. We had bought him a Chiefs jersey a few weeks before and he wore it to the game. The excitement of the game got him wound up. He cheered, danced, and especially loved telling everyone when the team got a first down. He is a natural tomahawk chopper and Jackson also made several high five friends. I think his favorite part was the kicking though; field goals, punts, or extra points - just seeing the ball get kicked through the air. It also helped that the goal posts were yellow (Jackson's favorite color).

Just grasped just about every major part of the event except the teams name. Some how he got it in his head that we were going to Jesus. Chiefs / Jesus? I guess they kind of sound the same? Anyway, he kept asking me throughout the game which player was Jesus. I would tell him that Jesus was up in the sky and he would get a little fluster because we were under the overhang and couldn't see straight up. I kept explaining to him that it was the Chiefs we came to see, but bless his soul he was determined to see Jesus.

We left at half-time, which was also Jackson's bed time. On the way home we stopped for ice cream and treated our young football fan. Jackson obviously carried the luck of the team with him. When we left is was 10-0 Chiefs. When we got home the game had turned around and the Chiefs were loosing 24-10. Oh well. We had a great first half and so did Jackson.

Mustard

2005-08-19T13:51:00.000-05:00

Taking Jackson to school today we stopped at an intersection for a red light which was 1/2 a block from a McDonald's. Not surprising, Jackson immediately told me that he wanted to go to McDonald's.

Being a father who harbors no love of the fast food giant on any level I have come to loathe my son's familiarity with the place. In this vein, I turned to him and calmly asked why would we want to go to McDonald's when we have the fruit roll up and Cheerios we had brought with us to eat for breakfast.

My son was quite for just a moment. Then he turned his head to the side and watching me out of the corner of his eye said, "We need to get some Mustard." As I froze in surprise to this response he sat there shaking his head up and down giving me this look which implied You obviously didn't think of that one Dad so we better go.

No...No I didn't.

Royal Disappointment

2005-08-18T08:18:00.000-05:00

Have you heard the news? Kansas City is looking to acquire a Major League Baseball team. Because sadly, we haven't seen major league baseball in this town for some time.

One of the key reasons people enjoy living in large cities, despite all of the headaches that go along with it, is the access they get to such things as professional sports teams. So when you have a situation such as we are experiencing here in KC, it really turns peoples stomachs on several levels. And worse yet, Kansas City is anguishing like Chicago once did with a blanket of shame over all of the city's sports teams. The Jayhawks got laughed out of the NCAA tournament and have had soap opera like problems in the off season, the Tigers graduated their only excuse for serious talent to the NBA, our minor league teams in all sports are in a revolving door, the Chiefs barely have the promise of being a 500 team and regularly threaten to move the team, and the Royals are the laughing stock of Major League Baseball. Wahoo!

So if you haven't heard, the Kansas City Royals are having a record breaking year. As of today, they have the longest loosing streak in team history at 18 games. They only need to loose 3 more to tie the American League record set by the 1988 Baltimore Orioles. What is worse is that the loosing streak isn't what most people consider the most disappointing aspect of the season. That distinction gets reserved for the embarrassment given to the 20 year celebration event of the 1985 team held this year. The 1985 World Series Champion Royals are the flagship team of the sports pride of this city. They are what draws all fans, segregated with whatever logic chosen, together in one smile of joy. It could not have been any worse.

Now being a Big Ten child in Big 12 country, some of this suffering gives me a small amount of joy. But not when it comes to baseball. Baseball was the sport I played as a child and understand very well. My wife plays Softball throughout the summer. Its our game in some ways regardless of who is playing or what records are on the line. Furthermore, Baseball is one of those sports that really should be appreciated live. The experience of the park, the American past time, the aspects of the game, and Summer time fun all make baseball worth seeing at the ballpark.

But not this year, even the ball park experience isn't any fun. When you can't go to a game with the expectation that either team can win, you really have a different situation. Its kind of like the Roman Forum. No one really expected the Christians to eat the lions did they, and no one really expects the Royals to win.

Save Ferris

2005-08-17T08:31:00.000-05:00

So, my son was sick yesterday right? That's what I thought too. Sick days, in my mind, paint a picture of a young boy at home resting, maybe watching a little TV, eating well, and just generally taking it easy to let the body heal.

Also my wife - the diligent mother: bringing work home the night before, taking one for the team, does what she can from the home computer while Jackson sips his soup on the couch helping Dora the Explorer find the missing whatnot. "Are you sure," I pushed, "I would be happy to do half the day." "Don't worry," she says finally," we will be fine."

And is that what happened - Hell no!

"Jackson needs to get out of the house," she says, "being all cooped up is not helping him get better." So the two them get in the car and go run errands for her job. Jackson goes on the tour de Block and gets to meet all of Mommies friends, run around the buildings, and be awe struck by the fountain. Then we go to McDonald's for lunch.

After lunch they went to the Zoo! When the Sea Lion show was over they called Dad to check in on him (a.k.a rub it in). It was about that time I sensed the con was in play and started seeing playback of Ferris Beuhler's Day Off running through my head. Because Jackson also watched the reptile show, road a pony, and spent some time with something called a millipede.

Between his one hour nap and the crack high he was on when I got home from school, whoever diagnosed my son as being sick obviously needs worry about their own problems, because he showed no signs of letting up. In fact my wife was a bit overwhelmed by it all at the end of the day and thankfully saw bedtime come like the end of a marathon.

But all I know is, I've never had a sick day like that.

Pottie Blues

2005-08-16T06:42:00.000-05:00

Jackson's School called us again yesterday. Apparently, he was a 3 time looser on the diarrhea front. What this means in our world is that they believe the child has a viral infection, which they usual do. So the child also cannot come back to school for another 24 hours.

Jackson, therefore, is on vacation today from school. If he can make the association, he might have diarrhea everyday?

H&R Block Company Picnic

2005-08-14T15:56:00.000-05:00

Saturday we went to the H&R Block company picnic. This was held at the National AG Hall of Fame in Bonner Springs, KS. (http://aghalloffame.com/)

This is one of Michelle's key events of the year that she has to coordinate. That means Jackson and I attend as guests on our own. Between the rain we had this weekend and the nap factor we decided to get their early and leave early. This worked out well because Jackson was dead in the truck driving away and we left just before the monsoon arrived.

This is the second year they have held this here and Jackson loves the place. A tractor pulls you in a wagon from the parking lot to the site, their are tons of games for toddlers, you get to eat in a big red barn, there are acres to run around on, an old Caboose sits on track there that you can explore, and best of all - there is a small gas powered train that runs around the property on 14" track that kids can ride in. The train has its own station and there are engineers that drive the train and work with the kids.

So yeah - We rode the train a lot. It takes you around "Copperhead Curve," over a bridge overlooking a large recess, under the walking bridge pictured here, and then through a tunnel!

Jackson had a wonderful time and was terribly well behaved. He even pottied like a big boy and had no accidents! We have heard that Christmas time there is really neat, maybe we will have o come back?

There are a few more pictures posted in the photo album.

Oh Crap

2005-08-12T09:47:00.000-05:00

Well I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later. In the life and times of a pottie training toddler, Jackson didn't earn any stickers yesterday.

What a day to have it happen too. Michelle had called me in the mid-morning to let me know that during morning "water play" at school Jackson was running on the sidewalk, tripped over his own two feet, and bounced his head on the pavement. "The knot on his forehead is the size of a golf ball," they told her over the phone. Jackson's teacher, Ms. Rhea, would later tell me also that the sound of it was frightening and made her hair stand on end.

So Michelle ran Jackson over to the doctor and was very lucky. They got in and were able to see Jackson's doctor, Mary Tyson.

Jackson was fine. Apparently it is a good thing when the bump grows out instead of in. Who knew? Though it makes sense, I think such knowledge falls under the category of rare allegories doctors hold in reserve to calm horrified patients and bring them down off the mental ledge they're standing on. Frankly, I was horrified enough with outtie - they can keep the innie.

So some observational instruction and a trip through the McDonald's drive-thru were all that was needed. In fact, when I picked him up at the end of the day I had to look for it. The knot was gone and there wasn't much left of the strawberry created from the contact. Thank you Jesus. We did however benefit some from the experience - We know Jackson is 32 pounds.

But the experience left Jackson, for reasons I am still not clear on, without underwear and back in a diaper. So sure enough not long after we get home Jackson tells us that he has pooped his pants. Good thing we had that diaper on Hugh? Well, just wait. We put underwear on him thinking we were safe.

So not more than 45 minutes later, after polishing off a healthy portion of ravioli, Jackson gives me the face we have all come to know so well that screams I am pooping my pants! So I tell him we need to get down from the chair and head to the bathroom. And I am told, "No Daddy, I poop in my pants!" So he did.

A few minutes later came one of the funniest things I have seen my son do in awhile: He got down from his chair, took about one and a half steps and froze. It was like watching the Tin Man rust out on the Wizard of Oz. And Jackson stayed there in that same spot and same position the entire time we cleared the table. He really didn't complain about it either. He just stood there.

When the dishes were done, I told him we were headed to the bathroom. Jackson took a couple of tentative steps and then was off like a gun shot. We took off his shoes and socks and then I put him in the shower.

It is at this point in the story, that all hell broke loose. Jackson, in his infinite wisdom and toddler veracity, choose to start jumping up and down in the shower for fun. It won't take much of an imagination to understand what happened next. Needless to say there was a small explosion. But to put it in perspective for a 2 year old, think about it as being attacked by a big brown monster. Because it is at this point I am foolishly trying to persuade my son that pulling his pants off is the best plan. To him, the pants are the only thing holding back the monster that is trying to crawl down his leg. So this of course
lead to a state of madness in the shower.

Normally it is my wife that tries to rationalize with our child and I have to step in and act, but this time the rolls were reversed and she reached in and depanted the boy. Go Mom! To which then I manned the the shower head, and our reenactment of a crowd control situation by police soon set in.

In the end after the steam settled, Jackson wanted to stay in the shower and was having a blast playing in the water. Everything got cleaned up without too much difficulty. My wife managed to make it through the day without killing my son - which was also probably the biggest accomplishment of the day. And Jackson survived, what would be for most of us, a pretty crappy day. :)

Site Changes

2005-08-11T10:19:00.000-05:00

Wow. Got so much going on so fast, but this is why I changed services.

We have updated the site in a couple of different ways.

To the right the first thing you will see is an on-line calendar of what we have happening. Probably the biggest issue we have relating to family is coordinating what we have going on with something they want us to do / be a part of. Well, now you can check out we we have going on right here.

Secondly, we have added three additional sub-sites to this one. The first of those has to do with our love of movies, theater, and the like. We will be posting our reviews of what we see & do. I highly encourage commentary here.

The second site is Darin's bravery into the bowels of literary criticism. Look out now and laughing out loud is permitted.

Lastly, there is now a link to our family tree website from Family Tree Maker. Any questions or comments on that can be posted against any article.

Boxers

2005-08-10T13:04:00.000-05:00

You learn quickly as a parent that there are turning points in early childhood development, and when you make those turns you realize that a door closed behind you that will never open again.

Jackson is walking through the turnstiles right now on another of life's changes. Yesterday was his first day on "boxers." Using the pottie has been becoming more and more a part of his life. Despite a small period of rebellion that lasted about 2 weeks he has been taking to it well. Each time Jackson uses the potty he gets a sticker. 1 sticker for a #1 and 2 stickers for a #2. He has a sticker map on the bathroom door where he places them. For Jackson we chose airplanes and his map is a big sky shot with lots of clouds.

Daddy has kind of insisted on boxers. It took him over 20 minutes and 3 sales people to find the only option for boxers which Target had in a 4T size. Passed over were tons of options showcasing all of Jackson's favorite cartoons including Thomas. But alas I felt it more important to stick with what I want. The benefit here as well is that they aren't white. I mean come on. The reason why you move kids to underwear at this age is that you want them to have an accident and not like it. By taking away the safety net you force them to be more conscientious of what is happening. So in God's name knowing that why would you make them white?

Anyway, we are very proud of Jackson and he says he likes wearing them. Not to mention he likes to do everything himself and these are much easier for him to take off.

Our Life - Our Family

Why in the world did I want to become Catholic?

Michelle enjoying the "Sun" in Cancun

Our Christmas Message

Side Saddle

The Face of Joy

Father's Day

Jazzoo

Zoe's first boyfriend

Another page has turned

Alpha & Omega on the Field of Dreams

Memorial Day Fishing Fun

Happy Holidays

Oktoberfest

Just a few pictures of my family.

It's a Girl!

Spencer Jay is on the way, here he comes, & he's ready to play!

A Tale of Two Canoe Trips

Merry Christmas

Tastes Like Chicken

My Announcement

Our New House

Jackson wanted to help Daddy Paint the Garage

If you think this looks bad, you should have seen it before the stitches.

He's going to be a fry cook on Venus

Lawn Mowing Ballett

You know your a Redneck when...

As Ward Shank would say, "This is just Bunk."

Top 10 ways to know your 3 year old is Obsessive Compulsive

Jackson Wisdom

I received this from a friend and wanted to share:

Shit

Work Recognition Moment #017

Birthday Boy

The Arnold Family Curse

Dinglehopper

I need a break

Christmas Pictures

Top Ten Things Heard on the Floor at the Busch Braggin Rights Game between Illinois & Missouri

Tis the season to be Jolly (or something)

Here comes Santa Claus

Is it really winter?

Hello Moto

49 and Holding

49 and Holding

The Adventures of Silly Bean

Balance

The Terrible Two's

Land Rover

That was painful...

100 Bottles of Tears on the Wall

Pockets

Work Recognition Moment #045

Grandma & Booper go to the Zoo

Work Recognition Moment #389

Good thoughts on the Illini

Work Recognition Moment #712

Weekend Update

Labor Day Fun

Lord hear our prayer

Yard Update

Don't Make a Mess Dad

The Greatest Show on Earth

Quiz

Swiss Flag Bearer

Another One Bites the Dust

Sleepy Head

Chief's Fan

Mustard

Royal Disappointment

Save Ferris

Pottie Blues

H&R Block Company Picnic

Oh Crap

Site Changes

Boxers

Archives